profile guestbook affiliations history credits

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill

WEEE~ smhow im starting to like IAP. ahah. cose i won get called for playin the keyboard durin music and the dance was okok though i dono how :/ ahahah. today once reach sch jaselyn qi huan keep rushin me to go learn the steps. ahah. but i purposely man man lai. ahah. i slowly put down my bag then drink water le then SLOWLY walk out of the crowded area. ahah. then learn lohh. then they ask me understand? i say ' erm. no. i onli noe the middle part.' ahah. then they wanan teach smore bell ring le. so i say 'aiya don need learn le lahh. i don even like dancin. i stand at the back can le lahh.' then i keep rushin them to go down le. ahah. so end up i didn noe the steps except for the first and middle part. ahah. then was sci lahh. did presentation. its damn sucky. cose mostly the slides jus contain pics. ahha. but ms low say was good. so good good lohh. and im damn slpy durin the periods bfore recess lahh. the medicines fault lahh. actually wanna slp durin geo. but need do presentation AGAIN. aiyo. ma fan like hell. then was recess lahh. learn dance steps again. haiyo. then was IAP le lohh. music was okok. play until wrist pain. then was dance. okok lahh. cose we had the show him how we dance so was in the hall. then we did our own things lahh. then my and qi huan started to do handstands and cart-wheels. ahah. was fun lahh. cose long time no do le. and surprisingly, i still can do frontwalk! WOOHHHOO~ ahah. nicenice. but my back pain! ahah. i told to to my fren and she said' aiya. ni lao le bu zhong yong le lahh' haha. they said tat bcose they called me lao bu si. cose im always very very slow. then after sch have to stay back for geo lahh. and its like 3.30! WTH. so late lahh. mke us wait SO SO SO long. but anyway we went to play lahh. had fun. cose me winnie shin yin and wen wen went mac. on the way i curse shin yin say let her see cat again. ahah. cose tat time wen rainin she saw cat on the way to the bus stop lahh. then she scream until like siao like dat. damn funny lahh. then i laugh until stomach pain can. then saw qi huan they all lahh. so we played in mac. and cose qi huan and shin yin was DARLINGS so we asked shin yin to shout for qi huan LOUDLY in the mac. ahah. and qi huan reactions was funny. she popped out frm bhind the walls then look here and there see hu called for her. ahah. anyway the mac there was like onli filled wif amkss ppl and pierce ppl and mayb some gangsters lahh. so it doesn matter wat we do. and we took our own sweet time. ahah. cose winnie say donwan go back see jaselyn. aha. cose jaselyn keep askin ppl do wrk for her. so everybody scared of her le. ahah. so we eat frm 12+++ to abt 2? then go back we go ka jiao ms lesa. ahah. winnie and shin yin is like practically mkin her go berserk. ahah. then ms lesa keep sayin 'winnie's jealous and shes in love wif me'. ms lesa say until winnie don like the word jealous. then wen i say shes jealous she ask me shut up. ahah. then we sat at the staff room there the table chit chat till 3++. the conversation was funny lahh. its was practically abt my ques Ncm, qi yue and maids. ahah. i was askin and askin ppl if theres such thing as Ncm. then winnie say have. but i don believe so i go check bk. then there say don have. ahah. then i tell her le she cme give me excuses. say wat' aiya, is u nv listen to wat tcher say. so dono. i bluff u u also believe.' then i was like. aiya. don cme kie kie lahh. i noe u dono lohh. ahah. then we continue on to the qi yue conv. i dono how did we link it. ahah. mayb cose we was tokin abt ms lesa lookin like a ghost. ahha. the dono y suddenly bcme maid. then we all acting like maid. then we keep mum here mum there. ahah. its damn funny lahh. YAHH! and bhind us was the sec3B girl. cose winnie and shinyin was the so called invigillator[?] for their test? then the girl was the one who dono how to cook rice. she jus put the rice in the pot and start cookin. wifout water. i hear le i was like' OMG can. use common sense also noe need water lahh. not how to cook? steam the rice or mke the rice chao tahh? then wen abt 3+ we saw ms lesa then continue chattin until i rush them go back for geo. bfore tat chloe cme borrow fone frm me. ms phua suddenly pop in. then she donwan return yet so jus go off wif my fone. stupid lahh. then she use my fone sms clarissa say later go collect frm her. aiyee. geo was super boring lahh. i looked around the class and saw practically nb listening to her lahh! aiyo. wat a failure tcher. aahh. anyway its damn normal for our class. cose tchers always complain our class got bad behavior. and tat tcher is always MRS CHIA! ahha. i bet the whole sec1 lvl BULLY her de. cose nb ever listens to her lesson. we are always doin our thing. we eat durin her lesson, play wif fone, do our hmwrk, throw things here and there. and she don bother. even if she bother we not scare de. then the guy bside me was stupid can. his geo test paper dono gone where then he use history de. then pretend writing on the paper. stupid lahh. then over le went hall put back then go collect my fone. then continue playin in the hall. ahah. handstands and cart-wheels again. ahah. then goin hme tat time lookin for chloe tan. she dono die go where alr lahh. so i ask clarissa call simin and ask if chloe wif her. then simin say she go hme alr. like WTH lahh. say wanna go hme wif me then go hme liao. but anyway i ask her to go find liko and go hme wif her. ahah. though i ask her to cme find me wen she wanna go hme. ahha. im frickled-minded. ahah. then go hme tat time they go buy bbt. then suddenly jeremy so good siia! the conv was like dat:
jeremy: y u nv buy?
me: no money lahh. u qing wo lahh.
jeremy: [takin out his wallet and check] i left wif 3.20. no money so monday zai qing.
me: wahh! so good arh?
jeremy: orhh. donwan lohh.
me: ahaha. okok mon zai qing.
ahah. so stupid lahh. suddenly he so good. cose in the beginin of the year he was damn irritatin. but after few mths he was beta. but tat stupid rabbit tooth was still VERY irritatin. after tat then go hme le. saaaaaddddd. bus hme alone. haiyo. anyway im always goin hme alone. so wats the diff? ahah. nxt time have to go sch myself liao. haiz. need wake up early le lahh. nvm. i shall go sch wif chloe tan then. so if i late got ppl late wif me. ahahah.

WOHHOO~ i pon sch today. ahah. cose sick lahh of course. i reali do feel different now. cose during pri sch no matter how sick i m i will go sch. even if im havin pneumonia. onli if im havin high high high fever. but now its diff. even if im jus havin SLIGHT flu i don wanna go sch. cose is damn damn damn boring in sch can. wifout playing netball i reali feel theres no point goin to sch. i dono y. cant reali rmb wat happened lahh. onli noe we had our 2.4 run on tues after sch. and i ran damn slow lahh. i don feel very tired but my leg jus wuldn wana move. i dono y. and i don wanna tink on the dark side. so donwanna go on further tinkin abt my leg. im alr determined on continueing i won tink abt leg matter anymore :D and wed was boring and tiring. cose im havin bad bad flu lahh. then totally felt like dyin can. then at nitex told my ma i don wanna go sch the nxt day. and i smhow quarelled wif her abt it. SEE! tis was how bad i hated sch. ahah. didn noe y. hopefully i will change my point of view soon? frm tat day i bcame like dat. reali didn noe y lahh. i jus culdn concentrate. and tis was reali reali my first time unable to concentrate until like dat. since tat day i almost missed my stop to alight, missed the timing on my watch, forgotten to bring many many things to sch[which is smthing i seldom do]. and many other things lahh. jus feel weird. mayb i shld jus forget everything lahh. keep myself busy until i fall sick. haiz. i jus wan tis period of time to end as quickly as possible.
the word regret is easy to write, but its the most painful thing in life.

im bored bored bored. AHH! sot diao le lahh. i realised tat wen exams are approaching, i blog even more often. cose probably no hmewrk so can use com. i no mood do hmewrk or study lahh. haiyo. guess im gona start switching to exam mode le lahh. mus be more lazy to on com and hardworking to do hmewrk. ahah. will tat ever happen? ahah. okok. today was sci. kinda boring. my partner is useless lahh. partner is kinda for helpin de but arhh. he tis kinda useless partner. everything copy copy copy. smore copy mine. then wrong cme blame me. but of course he will kana blame back. ahah. then was his. omg can. bored like hell. then so many msg and calls frm ppl. so bored then i jus reply them. ahah. but calls obviously cant. and amazingly i took down the notes. ahah. instead of copying frm fren. but im still guai le k. cose i didn ask ppl copy. ahah. SEE! im still guai de. then was recess. then was IAP. sian lahh. IAP all the programmes are lessons tat i hated to most can. music was still so-so. cose still smhow a LITTLE interested. but i see the notes until eyes blur. then play until wrist pain. then was dance lahh. had the so called test. and all of us did twice. means we embarrassed ourselves TWICE! ahah. but anyway theres onli 20 of us. so gota be alright bahh? then lunched wif shin yin. then had oral. we requested to be the first few! ahah. and the cher agreed. but told us not to mention in front of 1/1. ahha. cose its kinda unfair bahh. then i tok so much crapp can. the passage i anyhow read. no confidence so the voice was soft ehh. and smhow stumbbled[?]. ahah. then i skip the words and rephrase it. ahah. now it bcme MY passage. ahah. then was the conv. i replied rubbish to her and repeated my sentence so many times! AHH! i guess im gona fail it? hope not though. then bus-ed to united square to find jing xun and megan. then bus-ed back to mcs. find juniors and played wif them badminton. ahah. i play until whole body wet again. but its fun lahh. very long nv perspire until like dat le. ahah. and i play until right hand now no strength siia. vanessa is good at badminton k! nxt time if she donwanna join netball can join badminton le lahh. but shes still like the blur blur type lahh. then they all went off. how smart of them ehh. ask the seniors to help them keep their rackets. smore they throw them all over the place. mke me walk all over to find the rackets and shutter cork? cock? which or neither? i dono. ahaha. if nv keep properly the nxt day ms lee confirm scold them de. then post also we keep. smore tat megan jus walked off k! but heck lahh. lazy to quarrel wif her. then jus bus-ed hme wif her lahh. then went to buy chocolates! ahah. nice nice. then came hme sit at the com until now. ahha. my right hand is no strength until cant hold can drink siia. hold le my whole hand shiver until dono like wat.
im goin to nsl tmr again. ahah. but i jus wanan watch the sharks play. aahha. so mayb bfore tat im gona do hmwrk. so if i dono im gona ask anybody i noe. ahah. kk. im goin to bathe then study! aahh. dirty me. suddenly feel like studyin again le. ahah. cose im gona compete wif smbody in the exams again. ahha. like dat then i will have the determination to study. ahah. dono why lehh.

haiz. cose kinda free so decided to post. or mayb i shld say kinda irritated. shall tok abt today onli bahh. today go sch had normal lessons lahh. onli tat more of test and stuff. early mornin maths test le. then was borin chinese lesson. then was lit test. amazing arhh. test then test again. anyway i bet exams will be kinda same? then was recess. ate normal stuff. or mayb drink. then ma sms me to say abt the doc stuff so i decided to call her straight to get a beta understandin for the results. nth big reali happened so i can relax a little. but the stress cme frm the pain and the naggings frm my parents. but i decided not to listen to them. i don care now if my leg will be spoilt in the long run. cose its useless. onli netball gives me life now. and since now is exam period i might jus relax my leg a little and get a little beta? i noe many ppl think its fake. but its reali true. if you are in my position you will definitely noe the pain ive been true. i wanan tell smone abt how i feel but theres no one i can tok to. im afraid tat i might disturb them or mayb her[don tink its you. cose the person won be readin tis.]. then was HEcon. went to the com lab to do watever diet analysing stuff. and my carbohydrate all tis stuff over alot. ahah. especially sodium! ahah. suppose to be 1000++ de but i exceed to 4000++. ahah. and its bad. ahah. tis shows tat though i don eat much, i eat alot alot RUBBISH! ahah. then was PE. mr lai nv cme. so in class SSRP until mr ling cme. and its like gona end lesson liao then he cme. durin SSRP mr siva came cose of the 1/3 his txtbk gone. like dat also can. so had spot check? but not everybody. onli those hu go 1/3 for chi. then cose our class kinda noisy so mr siva came in also. asked for the chairman and vice chairman. mr siva asked them ques and they was like. answering weirdly lahh. mr siva was like gaying wif the vice chairman. ahah. their tokin 'process' was funny. then the vice chairman wanna complain abt the guys de but cose donwan de zui ppl so jus pretend everybody was GUAI! ahah. then mr ling cme liao we go for pe le lohh. played diff kinda things but i choose bball. wanted netball instead but nobody to play wif me. sad rite? at least last time got ppl play wif me wenever i wan. then wen keepin tat time one volleyball missing and extra bball. cose one of it frm 1/3 de. but volleyball dono gone where. so my class was so DEAD. mr ling say if gone le then our class have to pay. then heck lahh. then dimissed le. wanna go eat de then the ppl say now geo so cant go le. gastric lohh. then cant eat. then wait lohh. then after tat go eat le. then waited for ppl frm sci consultation to go eat again. ahah. then after tat they wanna go smwhere else de. but i donwanna go le. i go hme be guai kia. then reach hme do hmwrk lohh. then smhow learn oral.so pek cek can. my ma ask me read the chi bk. i read lohh. then i realised so many words dono how to read. then my aunty call. which is smth i hate. cose they will tok for hours. then i wanan ask also cant. then still ask me read. then then is like. aiya. jus no mood to study for anything alr. i jus find adults funny. wen the child wants tuition they don wan then the child donwan they wan. its like wth can. aiya. guess probably im too stress or smth. i wan netball lahh. i donwanna study study study anymore. had enough. cose wenever i wanna be guai nobody will cooperate. so wats the use? i tried to help myself but i jus cant. i cant concentrate wifout playin netball. wifout jumpin movin around. although theres much more to say but i don feel like continueing anymore.

i tried but i reali cant.
they jus won cooperate.
im sorry but i might disappoint you.
i wan encouragement frm smone else too.
then i can have the determination to do it.
you nv ever did said abt anything great tat im abt to do or did.
but i reali wish you did.
i reali feel hopeless helpless useless.
i jus try my very best to look on the bright side and forget everything.
but smthing jus seems to block me frm doin it.
all i can do now is to keep myself busy and stop being a pessimist.
ive decided not to give up on it anymore.
i will continue till i cant take it any longer.
mayb till i break down.

long long time no blog le. so decided to blog a bit today? and cose i onli can rmb wat happened today. hehe. today was all the normal lessons lahh. then PE was okok. then was geo test. ok. prepare to get many red marks on the paper. haiz. reali no mood to study at all can. then was netball. waited for ppl to eat finish so i was late. then we get punished lahh. as usual. then did warm up. i reali reali sucks at running can. i reali don have staminar. and i totally hate myself for tat. then see the seniors play friendly wif evg. then resting tat time weizhen suddenly cme to me then sit near me then cme tell me abt wat to do for C. then i was like 'OMG, please no. i donwanna play C.' but end up durin the friendly i still played C. and worst i reali no staminar. and i had leg cramps AGAIN. AHH! wen can i stop havin leg cramps. i rmb i did do my warm ups properly. mayb cose was reali over exercising myself and i reali cant tahan my knee pain alr. so end up lost the match. sad. lost to them like for the 2 time. and they are younger then us!! nvm. all under different situations. but today de i feel guilty. cose smhw partly was my fault? and since i today got muscle cramp and my knee reali reali hurts tat much, so i shall use tis excuse to not do IAP tmr. ahahha. IAP is the most sian lesson i had. cose all is the things i don like de. cant they organise lessons like netball? ahah. i will b the most attentive de. i find the seniors weird. how cme they noe i donwan play C wan play GD? i find myself weird also. cose i jus reply them one word by one word then after tat i got ques nv ask them. haiyo. mayb wasn tat comfortable tokin to them. but actually also not reali reali wanna play GD. cose i prefers defending. any position except for GK is alright for me. but i noe i cant play defending. cose im TOO SHORT! ahh! i donwan bcose im short then cant play in game le. but so wat if im short. like i wan to? its bcose my mother short then her mother short then continue all short lahh. genes mahh wat can i do. and i alr tried my best to jump as high as possible le. but if im reali needed to b C i will try my best. anyway weizhen say cose i was more experience so i play C. so means if sec1s improve le i may not b playin C anymore. but if i aren good enough for GD or WD i also die die de. cose i won be able to play? but hopefully i get into the main 12. ahah. i feel so naggy. hehe. after netball went mac for dinner. then clarissa suddenly say weizhen leavin us. then first thing cme into my mind was ' not again. y all tis always happened?' then i ask clarissa if its true and she said yes. then i was reali OMG-ing alr. another coach leavin us for smthing. first was ms choo left us to study OVERSEAS. then now weizhen MAYB gona leave us cose of her tight schedule. yahh. i noe its reali very tiring for weizhen. but please don go lahh. i donwan tat feelin to cme back again. then we msg her lohh. then they go le i continue msg her asking her abt some OTHER ques lahh. then obviously smthing happened durin tis[frm hearing the news until goin hme] period of time. then go hme alone le lohh. sad lahh. many ppl stay in yishun tat area but jiu shi nobody follow me hme. wen will smone pei me hme? hehe.
i reali feel so useless. my knee got prob ankle got prob then everytime get cramps. i bet if i don buck up i won b in the main 12. I M SO SO DAMN USELESS. sometimes i reali wana give up but i don have the courage to so y don i jus b more determined and finish tis 4yrs?

reali reali long time no blog. thurs no swimmin. ahaha. cose was rainin heavily. then the test was postpon. AHH!! no good lahh. cose tis thurs de i can pon swimmin but nxt thurs de dono can anot. haiyo. hao rain bu rain thurs then rain. stupid can. then trainin and it was damn tiring can. seniors ask us to run 14 rounds siia. then no choice run lohh. smhow controlled myself frm faintin? ahaha. cose im not suppose to run lahh. cose im still havin cough lahh. but don care. die die lohh. then was the normal stuff we did again. then last was highest point. wasn high at all. but have to get used to the fact tat not all are netballers during their pri sch time lahh. the trainin was onli tiring for me wen we are needed to run. cose i no staminar. so far no trainin is tiring for me for the drills part. cose ive been through all tat. so im stil smhow patiently waitin for weizhen to coach us smthing else? instead of all those stuff i did in pri sch. and most of all waitin to play on court again! and improve my defending skills lahh. not go back mcs play wif tha they all tat time will b hard lahh. but play wif juniors still can. i jus hope tis year will past fast. cose im reali reali reali waitin to play on court again and get into nationals. but i noe all these to cme true is damn damn hard. firstly, i have to reali reali improve my staminar. cose i realised now sec sch the teams they play even faster than pri sch le. and if no staminar i can forget abt playin on court. secondly, so far how i tink of the sec1 team is like. all of them have very good staminar but they are not serious durin trainin and i dono lahh. jus feel tat even if we all get to play nxt yr, we will not win. but hopefully after tis year i will tink differently alr. if can arhh. i wan mcs p6'06 netball sch team to play against amkss de cdiv'07. ahaha. wonder hu will win. cose last year durin amkss de open hse we played against them but the match wasn fair as our team de not all sch team de and amkss de ppl wasn playin their position at all. ahah. then fri nth special lahh. after sch go frens hse then go mcs le lohh. played wif the juniors lahh. then suay suay keep falling down. first was dono hu go bang me wen im jumping up lahh. then end up ball reach smbody else hand and i fall down on my butt! haiyo. then second time was pick ball tat time slide down at the drain. then lucky i put my hand down. so end up fall on my hand? then got bruise le lohh. then pain until the nerves pop out? smth like tat lahh. then after netball go eat dinner wif megan and jing xun. then 8++ reach hme le. nth special happen on fri lahh. then sat was amksian family day lahh. woke up at 6. so early still call family day. then reach sch very early. suppose to meet shin yin and reiko at 12 classroom there de. but stairs lock. so lazy go up then go foyer there. didn noe so many ppl reach le. ahah. then wait for bus to cme then go sentosa le lohh. then reach there le first thing qi huan they all thot of is go play water. so toot lahh. then they wanted drag me into the sea de. but i say i ownself go in. but i end up go in abit niia. ahah. then was rubbish things happen lahh. then after aquathlon [watever its spelt lahh] they go play water again. then tis time clarissa qi huan together drag me in. actually clarissa say won drag me in de lohh. then cose sand very diff balance mahh. then kena drag in. smore im wearing my spects and watch! then i was like 'OMG! the water so salty and im still wearin my spects and watch can!' then everybody say' finally rochelle is wet!' then i ok lohh. wet wet lohh. cose i knew tis wuld happen mahh. and they warned me to brin extra clothes le. ahah. but sad thing is tat my watch spoil le. sad lahh. then in the water tat time we did alot of stupid things lahh. then at 1230 we go bathe le. the toilet got alot ppl lohh. so we jus like bathe 'openly'. ahah. cose the toilet got a big space for everybody to shower lahh. but paisehh mahh. so we jus wash ourselves under the water wif soap and shampoo. ahah. i onli put shampoo. cose too lazy. ahah. dirty me. and smore the shampoo not frm the shampoo itself de. ahah. frm my fren's hair de. ahahah. then ok le go change lohh. the toilet damn dirty. smore we all nv wear shoes de. so sandy lohh. but also no choice lahh. got some ppl jus change openly lahh. ahah. then ok le go report then go up bus le. ahah. wen doin the counting thingy tat time jeremy frm npcc de go do dono wat so not goin back wif us lohh. so ms wong jus ask the bus driver to go lahh. then after we left sentosa le then loon shin dono is go call jeremy or he call him lahh. jeremy say he still at the beach. ahaha. then ms wong say' wo bu guan ni zai na li lahh. ni shi npcc de shuo yi qu zhua zhu mr siva horr.' then is like he go missing le then blame everything on him. ahaha. then shin yin say ms wong for sure is hate jeremy tats y donwanna bother abt him. ahaha. then winny say nxt time if we go missing ms wong also will do tat to us. ahah. then is like the whole thing so comical lohh. then in the bus we all pass the food around. i nv brin food so jus eat ppl de. ahah. then i onli eat those nice de. not nice de i jus pass. ahaha. then my fren say i so shi ji. ahaha. then one of the food is choco biscuit lahh. then wen they mention the word choco i was like' HUH?! wat thing arhh?' then pass to me le i hold up. then cose hold to hard can feel alr melt le. so i tell shin yin melt le then show her by pressing it many times lohh. ahah. then yu hang ask me don so disgustin. donwan eat then jus pass back. ahaha. and reiko took the one i pressed! ahaha. then almost the whole class slept in the bus lahh. cose everybody was so damn tired. after we reach sch me qi huan qinyu clarissa jackie jaselyn wingyu and zhen yee go eat at amk there mahh. then clarissa meet her pri sch fren then they go eat le lohh. i donwan so went to buy drinks wif qi huan and wing yu lohh. then we was talkin abt us being sunburn and clarissa de fren. they say the white ppl will turn pink and the darker ppl will turn red. then i say where got tis kinda theory de. then they say i turn pink so means im white lahh. then we say until alot stupid things. and cose we cant enter the shop wif the drinks so we walk around amk for one whole big round. ahah. then after they eat finish le clarissa call me then we went our separate ways. ahaha. say until so nan ting. actually is clarissa me jackie amanda[which is clarissa fren] zhen yee and qi huan take bus go toa payoh lahh. then jaselyn and wing yu go arcade. cose they not interested in netball mahh. so we went toa payoh sports hall watch the games. i didn noe weizhen was playin siia. shes in the sharks team. i jus realised i love netball but didn noe much thing abt netball. so we watch the game until 830 like dat then go eat wif megan and jing xun. then reached hme abt 10++ then actually wanna bathe de. but reali reali TOO tired so go slp le. ahaha. dirty me. then sun wake up tat time dono y like suddenly think abt the past. then suddenly reali reali miss the past de everything. ppl say once u lose something u will gain beta things. but i don feel tat ive gain beta things. i feel tat ive gain nth. and everything bcame worser. i miss the netball sch team. i miss the netball life. now i feel useless. ive begainin to lose many things again. im sry ive spoilt it. i didn mean to do it. if i can, i wuld reali wish to repair it. i will try my best bahh. im so so sry. then in netball im also useless. i don have staminar and neither do i have a good health and body. i feel the pain again. y did i jus died wen im young so i won noe all tis. im useless at studies also. i feel tat i begin to lose interest in studyin alr. i dono y. i jus passed geo. i don have the mood to study. i jus wish to be on court playin again. but im scared once im able the be on court i will lose the confidence and cant cope wif studies. i donwan the scenery of the kellock's game to happen again. its reali scary. my mind is jus in a whirl. everything jus cme to my mind. i donwanna b alone anymore. honestly, i reali envy those ppl which have many good frens around them always accompanying them. but some ppl don appreciate it at all. i reali miss the past. i cant set my mind on anything at all. nothing. i wanna play netball everyday and forget everything. after much time of goin crazy tat way, i decided to wake up and do hmwrk. then here m i typin all tis rubbish yahh. anyway i don even noe wat im tokin abt yeahh.