Decipher the Story of My Life

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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill

today's game was @#!$%&*$#^(*
Wednesday, October 31, 2007 10:21 PM

the bus 806 bus was damn crowded. flooded wif those rude huamin china kiddos. no offence to china ppl. but they were seriously very rude. tokin like nobody's business. i thot mcs singapore kiddos are loud and rude enough. but didnt noe huamin kiddos are worst than mcs kiddos-.-

ohh, and i saw peiqin in the bus stop. ahaha. she looks kinda tall me to ehh. or she IS tall?

so i thot i would be kinda early. but hu noes i was the last 3 to reach. at least im not late(: those tat stay so early dono wats got into them. cme so early for wat?! weirdos.

then waited for jiamin to cme. and off to CCAB. tis game was a total mess for me.

mrs ong said i didn have speed on court, off timings, not definite directions, didn receive center pass and blahh blahh for the first quater. speed is not reali true. timings yahh. but directions not very true. center pass, the C dont look at me wat can i do? i shouted so loudly on court somemore. they DONT react to my shouts. not my fault but i got blamed. wth.

perhaps yahh. watever. since the game is over. since she have more experience than me. since shes the teacher. perhaps she is correct bahh. but one thing i can say, the total trust frm them is not there. but i noe i will work harder for them to have tat trust in me. like how i have tat trust in pri sch by the coaches as well as teacher. the onli thing i hope is, dont tink tat bcose my knee is pathetic means i wont perform as well as those wif no probs. and i wont let my knee be an excuse not to perform well anymore. i dont wanna be a reserve like nationals game last year.

i realised wen playin match, i actually wont reali feel the pain. until mayb someone hit my knee or i landed to hard then i'll actually feel the pain.

im so damn not satisfied wif my today's performance. so obviously, like tat st.margs game. reflection in th bus. meanin i wont tok to anybody. and yahh, some idiots wen to kick the chair and mke so much noise obviously i'll be agitated lahh. and obviously im onli refering to one person; RACHEL KAN. tat idiot. knowing tat i'll be angry and she still go kick the chair. wtf. say wat pass down. then ask me pass down to mrs ong arhh?!

but still, after reflecting, i dont reali tink im in the wrong? weird lahh. theres doubts in me again. hu to clarify? goosshh. i sure hate it wen its like dat. like the carnival, my doubt hasn been clear but i alr forgotten-.-

so after everything ended wen home. saw my ma on the way back. ohh, and today's my father's bday. like hell, do i even look like i care? i onli care abt the food bought back(: HAHAHAA. cose theres crab. and stupidly, i eat until kana cut by DEAD crab. die liao still wanna cut me-.- so after perspiring so much today, i gain everything back again-.-

so im gona play netball tmr again(: goin back mcs tmr. if mrs dave is still there it will be great. i kinda miss her xD if last year team was back it will be even beta(:

mapling all day manzzzz
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 9:54 PM

today was practically abt mapling lahh. woke up, ate then mapled all day.

ytd was tryin to lvl pathetically.

and then i finally lvled! HAHAA

but im still so nooobbbb man-.-

guess a singapore road name that is abt like my name. AHAA

im the pilot! cool huh?

the whole post is bloody lame. i noe. ahaha. but wen im bored, i get real lame. AHAHAA

there's game and trg tmr. game against i-dono-hu. cose i forgotten wat mrs ong said. but still, hopefully everybody perform well tmr(:

trg was.....ahaha. damn crap.
Monday, October 29, 2007 11:12 PM

trg was alright bahh. today's run was pathetic. my right leg the bottom part there totally muscle pull. cant run properly lahh. totally draggin my leg along.

then sprints again. cose jackie nv cme bcme partner rachel. sot diao lahh. sprints do wif her. sure die die lahh. then cose rain then shift inside do. stupid can. sprint halfway her hand hit my hand. damn crap lahh.

then was pair ball all this bahh. then my partner bcme huimin. totally siao lahh. then cose she was copying me and then i hit the ball away frm her ended up hittin weizhen's head. sorry! and tis not onli once.

then was some teamball. then some defence stuffs. and alot time the ball which i defended ended up almost hit weizhen lahh. super suay today. everytime kana her. super sorry!

today trg pass very fast also. but not very fun. cose no courtwork): but its still ok lahh. cose as usual, im working wif a grp of entertainer. so every trg will actually be fun to be.

tmr supposingly its gona be maple day. HAHA. cose theres nth for me to do. no trg nth. wednesday will be busy mayb? cose its game plus trg. plus its my father's bday. but to me, i dont care at all. everything alr change. hu bothers? they can forgive but not me. i noe im onli faking it. they are jus some biased, tryin to change the facts idiots. which like to push the blames to others-.-

not interested to type anymore rubbish abt them.

im fugging hungry now!
Sunday, October 28, 2007 7:19 PM

today is simply boring lahh. woke up ate then used com to maple the whole day. then suddenly ting dian. maple half way lehh!!! but nvm abt tat. cose i wont die. neither will i lose anything. the most impt thing is tat im HUNGRY like hell. HHAAH. i didnt had anything for lunch since im busy mapling. ahahaa. so now im waiting for my show to start and my food to be served to me. HAHAHAA.

i jus realised tat nobody will be pei-ing me for dinner and goin hme wif me after trg since jackie will be MIA-ing for 1 week! tis shows tat im not having dinner after trg plus im goin hme straight after trg. how amazing. cose after trg i'll always be fugging hungry.

trg tmr. suppose to be game but end up trg. but nvm. as long as theres netball im fine wif it. im not gona have a heavy lunch tmr in case i cant run again. AHHAHA. hope tmr is court work(:

bbq was stupid at first but beta at the end.
1:28 PM

ytd we took a long long long time to even go to east coast man. firstly, we have to wait at j8 there for dono how long. then we took to wrong mrt. THEN, we alighted at the wrong stop. bcose of ONE BIG FAT IDIOT. fugging irritatin ok. ended up we had to walk for another 1hour to reach the pit. like wtf. fugging pissed off wif her lahh. wat a organiser-.-

so after reaching the pit we wen scolding scolding scolding. while we are walkin alr scolding liao. then after resting, drinking and eating we went to the place near the beach there. the sky was nice lahh. ahahaa

we watched sun set also. ahaha. then wait for them start fire. si bei long lahh them. from 5+? start until 8+? no idea. but i noe its very damn long. then finally can eat liao. but i didn reali eat much lahh. cose i scared not cooked siia. HAHAA. cose got one satay i eat liao not cooked de.

then ard 10++ went home le. lucky got ppl cme zai wo. ahaaa.

if u see the clouds there it would have looked much nicer.

tis was one of the aeroplanes which flew past ytd.

waves very nice right? HAHA.

u mus be there to xiang shou the beautiful sky and sea. HAHAA. still got other pictures lahh. but im too lazy to upload all. anyway most of it is sky. so i doubt ppl will be interested lahh. and other pics are wif other ppl.

today was....faggot
Friday, October 26, 2007 10:22 PM

woke up early today jus to go out wif my mother. like wtf. she ask me to wake up early then end up waitin for my damn sis until i get so pissed off. i scolded the damn socks idiot and my mother tinks tat im scolding her idiot. like wtf. i won scold SUCH simple words to her jus like tat pls. supposingly tats why i always look so fierce and scary. its all bcose of them and they jus push all the blame to me. sometimes i jus reali wished i could jus scold everything out. shift shift lahh. like i wan stay here like dat. wth have ur even given me? jus a miserable life? forget it.

all the way to somerset[?] i didnt wanna tok to them. so i jus stood far far away from them. and pratically they jus wasted my time. i shouldn have went there in the first place-.-

went off at 2. reach very early so decided to jus waste my time by waitin for bus and walkin very slowly. cose i thot i would be the first. but end up sherylyn and jiajia was even earlier than me. ahaha.

then ran outside two rounds. i was super full so cant reali run much. plus the worst thing was both my ankle was hurting like i-dono-wat-shit. and my right knee is hurting. so kinda im limping half the way for the second round. weizhen said somthing which i onli heard my name. so in order not to hear anything again i jus tried my best to run faster. by not tinkin abt the pain and try lifting my leg up higher. ahaha

then was some sprinting stuffs we are suppose to do lahh. but kinda not many ppl were sprinting. i bet if cheryl was there everybody would have sprinted another round man. but seriously, today im freaking tired at the start of the trg lahh.

then was some drills. same, if cheryl was there we all would have died by doin the same thing all over again. tis actually shows how slack we actually are when weizhen is the one coaching us lahh. i feel kinda guilty huh. plus i do tink tat im very rude. cose i kinda cant rmb the person's name and i will go ' OI!'. sorry for being so rude today. its my habit lahh. in pri sch i call almost everybody 'oi'. cose my stm is reali very stm.

today's trg pass very fast. but its normal for us. cose wenever weizhen is the onli one coaching us the trg will pass very fast. cose we are most of the time playin instead of serious trg lahh. guilty~ but still, i did learnt some things ok.

so we had some debrief stuffs on perth trip, the games and the shirts stuffs? when mrs ong was tokin abt askin parents to cme to let them noe abt the perth trip. me and jackie was like lookin at each other. cose we noe our parents wont have the time to. and when mrs ong was sayin tat 13 was young i was like tinkin ' i dont even tink my parents tink im young lahh' i dont even tink my parents will be interested in the perth trip talk or watever lahh. they dont even care if im alive anot-.-

after tat went hub eat. walking there tat time my right knee super duper uber pain. tis pain i nv ever had bfore lahh. pain until i seriously feel like chopping away my leg. jackie ong tio chicken pox siia. i scared later i bei chuan ran dao lehh. cose once i sick is not like those normal ppl very fast ok de. cose i sick will plus asthma, preneumonia all these lahh. jia lat. i donwan miss netball trg. hopefully i wont tio lahh. and hopefully jackie also faster ok lahh. so can cme back trg wif us. not i no partner lehh.

tmr is the class bbq thingy. kinda im NOT lookin forward to it at all lahh. super sian. dont even feel like goin out. plus the girls are like onli A FEW? plus the boys also abt a few niia. sure not fun de lohh. sian lahh. i rather stay at home to slp-.- it is so not organised properly.

its gona fade away soon.
Thursday, October 25, 2007 8:42 PM

actually, today's my sis bday. but it doesn seem like at all. cose shes still MIA-ing outside. obviously shes celebrating wif her boyfren lahh. so we aren celebrating. perhaps sooner or later tis family wouldn even be like a family anymore. nahh, im not gona care anyway. its pointless and useless. even my mother's bday i'll wouldn even be here. so wats the point alr. and tat day aren nice to celebrate since 2005.

tired tired tired.
7:11 PM

tis few days was tiring man. ankle pain knee also pain. but ankle pain is worst man. i've been icing my ankle since tues trg-.-

WED
was the boring swimming carnival. nth nice to say lahh. then went hub to eat. then back to sch to wait for trg to start.

trg was abt defending(: ahaha. long long time since i did defending drills? i still love defending drills best. then at the end cheryl and weizhen split the defender and attackers up? to train the defenders on their center pass defending. its actually quite the same as pri sch. but now im working wif a whole grp of new players. besides i haven reali been trg on defending for almost half a year? cose i've been trg on attacking instead. then now suudenly they allow me to play WD again. and my old habbits are coming back for defending. since pri sch coaches have always been askin me not to side steps while defending lahh. plus i jus cant defend lobs): tats the worst pls. but still, i'll do my best in watever position they are gona put me as(:

went hub for dinner again. then homed.

TODAY
sportd day. and still im as suay as last year. last year 100m bcose of heats i was suppose to run wif black ppl. then tis year dono wats got into the tchers im running wif a grp of fast runners. wtf. wen can i win 100m man?! ahahaa. perhaps im slow lahh huh. and amazingly, rachel got first wif her shoes flying off. HAHAHAA. but obviously she will get first de lahh. at least im not last. AHAHAHAH

at least tis year the relay theres nobody slower than me alr. last few years my team i was always the fastest. so see how slow the team can get since im so slow? then plus need to run wif black ppl again-.- tis year heng no more black ppl. HAHAA. so 8x50m we got third since is anyhow last minute decision to join. then 4x100m we got first! ahaha. theres something not right wif their positioning. the first runner was at different distance which is correct. but the second third fourth runner was at the same distance. which is not fair for lane1 first runner? weird~

after the run was the prize giving. its like almost all the prize winners thingy was wrong. but heck. after the whole thing finishes, me and jackie went np to eat then homed. slept for abt 3 whole hours wifout waking up by anything. shuang man. long time since i slept tat way. was really tired out lahh. ankles very pain knee also pain. tmr still need tahan the run. how amazing. ahahaa

sculpture walk is tiring and BORING.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007 9:45 PM

the sec1s post exam activities reali sucks man. golf and the stupid walk is totally BORING. plus the stupid walk is like mkin my leg and ankle and knee more pain ok! waste my strength niia.

so after the stupid walk was 3+hours of break then trg. i wanted to go home but no time lehh. so waited for jackie then went to hub to eat wif the rest. then went back. whole sch was VERY quiet. which is VERY rare for tat time of the day. but bcose of O lvl exam so obviously the sch will be very quiet lahh. so we didnt dare to tok very loudly though sometimes we cant reali seems to control(: but the seniors were kinda all sleepin? they seem to hate us alot huh. weird...

we had to run outside for 1round. but its not the normal 1round lahh. supposingly tmr is like dat again? wanted to give up at the back part. but since alr reachin the sch so no choice tahan a bit more lahh. and many times i ALMOST sprain my ankle again-.- i have a very lose ankle siia. bcose of those sprains and infections lahh.

then had A WHILE of endurance kinda thingy. and finally the exam ended and we can use the court again. so did pair ball wif medicine ball then netball. after using medicine ball the netball is like no air. which is obviously lahh.

then was 3man work. then some drills. throughout the whole trg i was laughin ALOT. today abit sot diao alr. perhaps cose of the stupid walk. BORING LIKE HELL~

at nitex the sch was very very dark. ahahaa. like obviously. gettin darker and darker until i cant even see the person's face though they are like jus in front of me. even doin drills. have to concentrate on the ball. not arhh, i dono where the ball will fly to.

the perth trip thingy was said alr. supposingly it will be fun? cose those entertainer all not goin-.-

tink i said enough. beta go rest more and ice both my stupid ankles-.- not tmr i tink i can dont need tink of trg liao lahh.

GOLF IS BORING~
Monday, October 22, 2007 11:35 PM

GOLF IS VERY VERY VERY BORING~

rmb, nv go play golf. esp at sembawang golf club. the instructors there are NAGGY. from the start give us all bad impression. ahaha. the 67year old uncle was tokin tokin abt rubbish non-stop pls. nagged like hell lahh him. from golf can tok until abt toilet then abt accidents pls. even MdmYau was like complainin to MsLim-.-

the learnin of golf procedure is retarded, stupid, boring and tiring. cose i didn wanna learn and ended up statuing. HAHAH. stand until knee pain alr lahh!

ate then went home. super deprived of chocolates, tats why my lunch is mostly chocolates. AHAHA. went home, slept for hours then woke up. ate dinner and off i go cycling the bicycle to my uncle hse. wat an excecise to do at nitex. besides im suppose to cycle through the creepy park. so bloody dark and looks so creepy. ahahaa. but the air was VERY fresh. though the plants are taking in oxygen. the lights in the park is equal to no light at all lahh. so dark pls.

so tmr will be the sculpture walk thingy. and supposingly its gona be boring ALSO. bsides its at singapore river-.- like how many times must they bring us there? i had enough of singapore river since during pri sch they kept bringin us there?

after the walk thingy gona have trg. but its like hours later and the sec4s are having their O lvl exam-.- and we have to run outside?hopefully my knee dont die on me again. i dont wanna fall down again at the same spot. HAHAHAA

trg for today ended so fast!
Friday, October 19, 2007 9:22 PM

today was kinda boring again. but beta than those few days. pe was badminton again lahh. then had the stupid surveys thingy. super bo liao. i didn even bother to read finish the questions lahh. jus anyhow answer. 3tchers were needed to supervise our class. HAHAHA. how amazing.

our recess was so late lahh. but still its kinda the same lahh. then was english. and we was needed to rot in the dream studio man! jia lat lahh. ask us to read. lucky got air con arhh. not i sure complain. but instead of readin i play Big 2 using winny's fone again. still, i won the computer.

then was trg. weizhen came very early. perhaps she got nth to do. ahhaa. then we waited and chatted quite long bfore we were needed to run pyramid. first round up was still ok. but second round was kinda a torture to me. cose my knee was aching alot. but i jus continue running. didn want to stop cose im trainin my pain lvl. HAHAHA. since it wouldn recover why not train my knee to endure the pain? anyway i did succeed so far in controlling my pain.

then was drills, team ball and some other stuffs. and we got our holiday schedule. kinda fully booked wif trgs and games again. but still, i'll find time to go back mcs lahh. since there will be netball carnival, im need to ask mslee abt amkss open hse, see tchers, meet up wif pri sch frens and see juniors since its their last few months. ahahaa. and theres still hmewrk. like wth-.-

the perth trip mke me cant celebrate my ma bday. but yahh, i dont tink it does matter. since its actually all abt some unhappiness stuffs happening on tat day. and perhaps the perth trip wouldn be TAT fun anymore. cose those talkative ones aren goin): them and their holidays lahh!

ok, enough of my typings. im gona go chiong maple. HAHHAA

im so tired out by trgs man!
Thursday, October 18, 2007 7:12 PM

im jus so lazy to on the com or even walk here and there lahh. bcose im tired out by the trgs man!

TUES
lessons were jus abt correction and stuffs lahh. super duper boring. im jus waitin for trg to start tats all.

so finally after sch trg starts. rained the whole trg so we had to do physical-.- super tiring lahh. i onli noe i perspired alot. water tap again lahh.

WED
got muscle aches man! pain here and there. esp the knee. jialat lahh. somemore still got trg. so everybody prayed tat today dont rain so no physical for us man.

lessons were gettin more and more boring. tcher tokin rubbish then we jus have to listen. if not slp! and i reali wanted to slp lahh. but muscle aches everywhere lie on the table awhile back aching like dono wat! so end up cant slp):

after sch was trg. finally nv rain. so we did court work bahh. but bcose of muscle aches i cant reali run properly lahh. run 10rounds onli i alr wan to die. wanted to give up and tell cheryl my knee is bloody pain but...aiya, ren xia qu beta lahh. if not nxt time my knee a little bit pain then cant tahan alr. so i was jus practically struggling throughout the run lahh.

then was those normal stuffs and at the end we did some half court. and amazingly im asked to play WD. like finally, but somehow i jus felt weird. its like first half of the year ive been wanting to play defending. yet they si dou bu yao gei wo wan. then now i alr got used to playin C and then they ask me play defending. but...aiya, i dont care alr. as long as i get to play. and anyway, those are the positions mid-fielders are supposed to play. but im still not good at playin WA.

after trg went hub eat then went home. bathed and slept. ahaha. very tired lahh. plus my sis not at home then no nintendo give me play so jus slp lahh. my sis went dono where to stay lahh. she good lahh. no sch then go out stay. dont need hear my stupid mother nag nag nag-.- damn idiotic pls. even mornin i cant tahan her alr. tok loud she say i rude so fierce for wat. then tok too soft she say tok so soft for wat-.- piangg ehh. damn irritatin can. like dat dont tok to me lahh! so ive decided if im at home wif her im so not gona tok pls. tat is why we are all difting alr yet she still wanna cme gen wo chao-.-

TODAY
i dont feel like goin to sch man! super duper tired. but still i went lahh.

lessons were EVEN MORE boring. tchers dont bother abt us de. first two period were abt mark checking lahh. quite ok wif my marks liao lahh. got fourth in class and twenty-seven in lvl. after tat we were jus doin our own stuffs.

so after recess was the worst. wanted to slp but back aching still so donwan slp alr. so i played game instead. used winny's fone to play big 2. lousy computer man! i kept winning all of them until alr 400++.

after sch jus went home to slp. ahaha.cose very tired lahh. despite the upstairs ppl drilling dono wat shit i still managed to slp. HAHAHAA. cose i blasted the music into my ear. and the music woke me up! AHAHHAA. then i took out the earpiece and slept wif the loud drilling sound. ahahaa. im such a pig man!i slept from abt 2++ to 630. ahaha

finally i can play maple alr man! all thanks to qihuan!! thanks for lending my the thumbdrive. finally i have smth to do at home! ahaha. i gona chiong all the way to 3rd job advancement then to 4th man! HAHAHA

ive been realising more and more things.
Saturday, October 13, 2007 2:50 AM

today was so far not bad. at least i dont have to stay at home and face the com the whole day. so i specially woke up early jus for some ppl. they shld be glad huh. but i dont tink ppl will tink its early at all. ahaaa. and supposingly, they dont tink its early either. went vivo to meet them. i tink its bcose of the first trg tats why im actually very tired tat made me yawn throughout the whole trip to vivo. but hu noes, i specially woke up early for them but go there liao after abt 1 or 2 hours went back-.-

then since its onli 3+4 me and belle decided to go find rkycia. then walk ard amk hub? and ive discovered something. ahahaa. then went rkycia hse downstair play cards awhile then went cycling. ahaha. like how great can i ever get? by shun-ing frens wants? yeahh, even though my whole body is aching doesn matter. seeing them happy is beta. and anyway i wan to cycle also. hao bu rong yi theres someone willing to pei wo cycle. HAHAHA. so called 'pei' lahh. cose after awhile they wen into bishan park the restaurant kinda lookin place to eat. and obviously i didn have money. or i shld say i didn have money to waste on such things. as u can see, im out wif those rich kids wat can i do?

and that so called nv pangsehh me fren was on the fone for hundred years man. so i didn wanna be an extra ass sittin there staring here and there so decided to continue cycling on my own. besides, i kinda looked at the whole restaurant alr-.-

manage to cycle the whole park except for one end. bcose my legs seriously couldn take it anymore. i cant go up slopes anymore. like how i cant walk down stairs properly): but tis time i suppose it bcose my legs are still havin muscle ache? so i decided to go back to find them. so relax awhile in the air-conditioned place and decided to walk to amkss there de bus stop. HAHAHA. i jus felt like walkin i dono why. perhaps walk more bfore my legs reali go bai ka? ahahaa. so jus took 852 home. reach home obviously nobody.

perhaps its beta to stay at home alone bcose i didn wanna follow my parents to those boring place to let them jus leave me alone playin their mahjong is much beta than goin out then noeing that im actually alone. yahh, but i dont blame anybody for tat. bcose they noe my temper and my stuborness[?] wat ive decide nobody can change it at all. so nobody will say anything abt leaving me alone.

i dont tink i'll ever be as happy as bfore le bahh. nth big reali happened. since i alr got used to tis kinda life and its no longer impt. those ppl that are close to me also dont mean wat they say anymore. i realise they are jus faking things to me. but no matter wat, i'll still try to be there for them wenever they need me. though i noe many times i wasn there for them wen they need me and ive hurt them many times. but....nvm. even ppl hu noe me 6 years or even 13 years don understand me fully. how do i expect them to noe wat im tinkin? they onli noe my outside character very well. but nv once do they understand my inside character. nvm, i'll jus stop here. no point sayin anymore. not some ppl say i emo again. which is so not true. cose im jus like typing to sort out my thoughts? though i did not type wat i fully tink. ahahaa

today abit off~
Friday, October 12, 2007 8:18 PM

today was abit weird. i cant seem to do things smoothly today. first thing in the mornin saw mslim in classroom. means pe cut diao and have to get back geo paper-.- piang lehh. i two marks more a1. qi si ren lahh. two marks onli lehh. zhao zhi dao i go check more man.

then nxt, mrs koh came in and say wanna eat into our pe time also-.- stupid lahh. eat our pe time for wat? we rather not get the papers. ahaha. so d&t paper not bad lahh, a1. and mrs koh prononce my name wrongly-.- and the difference is so BIG can. from rochelle to rachel-.- wat crap lahh. tcher cork eye or pajiao? so diff can.

then finally pe. doesn go too smoothly. ran wif my class de netballers then played badminton again. my wrist seem to have some prob): wen flip very pain. stupid lahh. wen can i not have anymore joint pains?

then recess and was maths. got back paper. AND AGAIN, two marks more to a1!! irritatin lahh. ok tat doesn matter. but lucky my paper one help me. not sure fail.

then was eng. stupid nair again. siann~ she wan ppl ask her then so fierce hu dare go ask? lame ass lahh she. im quite happy wif my eng marks though. like finally i can get those marks again lahh. but its onli section B. HAHAHAA

after sch stayed back awhile to check chi paper. worst mark i ever had for chinese. sadened by the zuo wen marks. 26/50. wat crap can. i see alr shock tio. cose i nv even had such low marks in my life for chinese bfore lahh. bcose of tat i didn even get an a2 for chinese-.- idiotic. tis time chinese sure kana pull down alr.

then went to eat a little and off to trg. trg is more of physical since it kept on rainin. but tis time cheryl is nice to let us run 6rounds onli(: if not we all today sure die die. then pair ball. jia lat again. i cant reali catch ball today. damn pathetic. kana hit dao alot times today smore-.- perhaps reali is too long nv play liao. haiz.

then did stairs. and obviously the same, walk down very chi li lahh. walk halfway whole leg straight then suddenly break. wahhpiang. i is heng nv fall down. then plus perspire so much until enter ear then mke me one ear deaf. pathetic me lahh.

then did those drills and games and other things lahh. cant reali rmb though. since most of the drills im standing wif those talkative ones. so ended up i didnt reali listen. ahaha. nxt time beta not stand wif them. not sure not serious de.

supposingly we are gona get team shoes alr. and its green again. ahahha. but its kinda weird lookin wif red coloured jersey wif lime green shoes? but since its green, i dont tink i'll reali mind. ahhaa. but im jus scared tat shoes either too big or small lehh. but, heck lahh. lazy bother abt those stuffs.

after trg went amk hub. bought stuffs to eat. then chat, chat chat. and went home. and i realised i can crack all of my joints which i can tink of. HAHHAA. amazing ehh?

im sry. i jus donwan everything to repeat again and me to hurt anyone again. sry
Thursday, October 11, 2007 1:39 AM

ive realised, im starting to run away from reality all over again. or perhaps tis is my way of life? anyway everything doesn matter anymore. i will not bother to explain anymore or everything will repeat again and again non-stop.

too lazy or perhaps no mood?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007 4:56 PM

ytd wen i wanted to blog my sis hog the com, on purpose. i waited for a long long time until i gave up waitin and go to slp-.- she did it on purpose lahh. ok, heck her.

ytd maths paper was stupid. seriously, why mus the linda chan mke the paper until so hard? after the paper practically everybody was scolding and cursing her. ahhaa. i didn have time to finish the paper though i did every single ques but not fully finish. the last 5min i was askin myself ' do tis ques or check the paper?' then ive decided, i'll do the ques. which is the ques needed to draw the plane on the graph paper. cose everytime wen i need to draw plane i always took longer than 5min so i was askin myself if i shld 跟时间赌一把. perhaps then i noe wats the meanin of rush? at least i finished drawing the whole plane plus labellings and stuffs. at least can get a few marks? then after the paper i realised smthing. i did many ques halfway and stopped! i tink im gona flunk tis paper. jus hope my paper 1 wont fail or watever man.

the reflection thingy was stupid. so i jus write stupid things till some part of me got emo? and started writin and tinkin of emo stuffs-.- but i doubt the tcher will understand. anyway supposingly the tcher readin it will be mrs chia?

so far onli my pri sch tcher understood me. esp mrs dave. she trust and believed me and im glad that i actually had a trust in tchers bside jus on academic stuffs. as u can see, u can kinda say i act in front of tchers. HAHHAA. im very guai infront of my PRI sch tcher. i always hand in hmewrks de. but onli two of my pri sch tcher noe me well. ahaha. they noe that im VERY vulgar and not tat guai. AHAHAA. tats why im not a prefect in pri sch, since the DM was my form tcher. and jus nice was the one hu understood me. ahahaa. but mrs dave was diff. though in the past our team did not like her cose she always very irresponsible and blame the team esp the capt for no reason. but after she go, i thot abt wat she did and realised she actually trust and believe me.

during the national game in p6, ms puva didn allow me to play. as i mention bfore tat i was too short-.- it was a very crucial game to confirm our third and fourth position. daphne wasn performin well as a GD and mrs dave actually asked ms puva whether i can play! i was glad by wat mrs dave did and disappointed by the ans. sometimes i jus cant help it but to tink tat ms puva was actually destroying our team. but i noe shes not lahh. okk, enough of my past. its the past so no use sayin since my previous team aren my present team anymore. but seriously, i hope my present team will actually be much closer than how my past team actually is. and tat mrs dave could ask for a transfer to amkss! HAHAHA. she purposely transfer to st gab can. i asked her tat ques many times but she jus anyhow ans me-.- but i noe the ans anyway.

so after the paper went to hub bought stuffs to eat and homed. watch shows as usual and cycled my fat sis to my uncle hse to put the bicycle there for my father-.- if u're on wheels u wont feel tat the distance is far, but if u're on legs u will feel tat the distance is very far. ahaha. then went to eat and my father fetch us home. and continued using the com until my stupid sis hog the com.

TODAY
woke up ard 12. but bfore tat got one crazy person called me in the mornin tinkin that im goin to sch-.-

woke up and use the com. nth much to do anyway. no more studyin so left wif using com. and the stupid maple jus wont let me dl it!!!! irritatin man. i suppose its bcose of the virus protection thingy which dont allow the stupid maple to dl.

so i tink im goin down to either cycle or run alr(:

Sunday, October 07, 2007 10:07 PM

you noe sometimes i really dono if i should thank you or hate you. thank you for lettin me noe at least someone still bother to tok to me. hate you for not lettin me to be alone and not to hurt you anymore.

i noe u are readin this. but pls, PLS, i beg you. jus pretend u did not read tis and dont tok to me anymore. jus let me fake myself and carry on wif our lives. dont mke me repeat the history again and hurt someone. i dont want to be like her and say those stuffs again. if u realli force me to, i mean it and i'll do it no matter wat. i mean wat i say and i mean it. dont mke me let more ppl hate me.

nobodycaneverchangewativedecidedaftersheleft.

boring boring boring.
6:25 PM

today was plain boring. i slept at 3am ytd and woke up at 3pm today. ahhaa. then ate and used the com the whole day. i dont tink im studyin anymroe alr. seriously i can stand it by studyin every singe day wifout fail. thats not me at all. so i kinda decided to give up studyin for maths since i alr studied it last week? perhaps im jus gona read through the notes and stuffs can alr.

im not gona be indecisive anymore lahh. since i've decided im not gona change anymore. i'm sorry once again for hurting u or givin u false hope or watever. but ppl hu noe me shld noe that im always alone. i wont jus let anybody in jus like dat. after she's gone im alr starting to close it all over again and it wont be opened that easily anymore. im sorry and jus forget me and continue ur own life.

im gona go run now alr. long time no run i seriously donwanna lose my stamina(: plsdontdieonmeagain.

am i reali goin more wild this few days?
Saturday, October 06, 2007 10:39 PM

im goin more and more crazy this few days. or i shld specify, after exams. actually not reali after exams. cose of tat stupid maths paper i cant say its after exam.

today woke up late or i shld say im too tired. so slept all the way till 1130. and im suppose to meet belle and denise at 1230. ahaha. so obviously im late again. i reach j8 abt like 1320? HAHAA. paiseh lohh. im too tired. ytd busy playin my sis bf de nintendo. ahaha. i beat my sis bf de score for mario kart. HAHAHAA. i help him open alot lehh. hopefully my sis haven return him yet. ahahaa

ok, back to meetin them. i found them at the lib the 4th floor-.- found them. HAHAHA. cose they in lib then off their fone to silent then end up nv reply my sms. they were in the middle of nowhere can. wat a place to choose pls. so very soon we tok too loud, or i shld specify belle ang tok too loud so we kinda got chase out lahh. and obviously don need me to scold the person belle alr started scolding. ahaha.

then went mac. i bought chocolate sundae. and belle ang studied for a while-.- she can nv be quiet de. then she said the mac too noisy wan go open plaza-.- shes the one tats being noisy pls. but ended open plaza got dono wat thingy goin on. so we went food cort. she continued studyin for awhile. then kept sayin she want us to go her hse. and we saw one idiot. dont want say her name lahh. even belle noe her man! shes so famous wif her stupid act cute voice-.- low voice also wont die until where wat. mus she go act the voice out? WTH~

since we saw her we've been tokin abt her and acting like her. ahahha. then we went belle's hse. put down our bags and we went down. belle wanan play swing so me and denise jus followed her down? since she wanted to play so i shall play wif her. long long time no play alr(: she tinks tat im challengin her so i SHALL challenge her and obviously i swing higher than her lahh.

then she wanna play monkey bar so i shall pei her play also. but end up we're too tall(: HAHAHA. no lahh. is the monkey bar too short le. so we decided to play see-saw. ahahha. we stood on it instead of sittin down. stand up more fun i tell u. ahaha. i always stood up while playin see-saw de. see-saw mkes me tink of the past again. the fun time i had wen im much much younger. wen i didn have anything to thot abt or noe anything. but now, i cant even rmb of my young time playmate): shes very very nice. i rmb how decisive i am in the past. but now, im not the old me anymore.

after we got bored we went bishan park walk walk. tok alot abt other stuffs. then after gettin many mosquito bites, we went to buy drinks. me and denise bought coke and belle bought 7up. and we got reali crazy after drinkin. HAHAHA. coke contains drug and acid. 7up contain dono wat which is able to mke belle go crazy. HAHAHA.

belle and denise suddenly thot abt playin mahjong. so we went up and they reali played mahjong. they want me to play wifout me noeing how to play-.- yahh, i dont noe how to play mahjong lahh. so after playin a few rounds we change to play dai di. played one round onli tat stupid belle ang got tired of it and wanna play stress wif me. btu i say no and say play speed instead. ahaha. stress will mke me go crazy man! but speed is diff. ahaha. and we reali reali got VERY crazy over the game and the tv advertisements! HAHAHAA. everything was super funny. even if its not we jus kept laughin and laughin lahh. AHAHAH

ard 7+ me and denise went back. even at the busstop we went crazy. ahaha. and wen we're crossing the road, belle wanna jay-walk[?] then me and denise say dont wan lahh. then end up no car belle jus walk and i jus follow since the stupid traffic light SO LONG. then denise thot i will stay there wait until traffic light turn green man. but i didnt and denise jus stayed there and wave to belle. HAHAHAA. ok, perhaps jus by typin here nobody will understand lahh. so nvm.

we're the onli few hus tokin very loudly at the busstop. HAHAHA. took 162 then at amk there change to 851. then at interchange took 804 back. reach home nobody. so heck lahh. i do my own things of course.

and ive realised tat i haven had much things today. i onli ate biscuits ard 12 then ard 3 i ate ice cream. ahaha. and obviously my whole bottle of acidic drug. HAHHAHA. thankyou for lettin me have a wonderful day(: or i bet i'll be home alone again.

HAHAHA. i did not type wrongly lahh. curiosity shld be controlled at times(:
simple outings or gathering is enough. i dont ask for much at all. today is alr enough even if its onli once or even if theres onli the 3 of us or even if its jus some simple activities goin on. i understand tat many ppl changed. they have their own life to live alr. so no point wantin them to change back to their old self. and theres no need to even go anywhere special tat need to waste much money. like today, we can jus have fun in parks or anyway. i realised, in sec sch its totally diff from pri sch. in sec sch, the ppl i noe i cant seem to understand them. i still prefer straight forward ppl. why be so hypocrite and be wif someone u dont like? and my sec sch frens jus cant seem to mke me very happy. or able to relax while wif them. perhaps onli sometimes they can. cose i reali need to be more happy. i thot she was the one which understood me since she noe me for quite some time alr. but seems like im wrong. i dont tink i ever dare to trust anybody anymore. my lonely life is back again. perhaps i shld take the initiative to tok to ppl. but i jus dono how to start sayin. everything is jus kept in my heart not being able to say them out. sometimes i reali wished i was mute. sometimes i reali jus wan to keep quiet and observe. but sometimes i jus reali hope i culd explain to those ppl. but wats the use. im meant to be lonely. seriously i jus reali reali hope netball trgs culd start asap. i dont wan to waste my time tinkin abt tis stuffs anymore. wats the point ever tinkin abt all tis wen i noe tat nth of tis will ever happen. onli netball can mke me forget everything tat i dont wish to rmb. even the person i thot knew me don know me. wats the use of sayin. nobody can do anything to mke me not lonely at all. i noe i dont even look like the type hus emo or watever. perhaps u all tink its fake rite? perhaps it is. i dont noe myself either. though i still have many things to say but i will not type anymre. im not gona jus cry like dat anymore. the past is the past. wats done cant be undone. no use tinkin abt it. and even if anybody read tis, jus pretend u did not read it at all. or perhaps i shld say, dont try to take pity on me. cose it wuldn work. i will jus scold u. like i say, i dont trust ppl anymore. watever ive said may jus be fake or not impt at all. even if i said out, wats the use?nobody can change the fact.i wan to be myself again.

finally exams are kinda over :/
Friday, October 05, 2007 8:24 PM

finally the exams are kinda over le. left wif maths paper one? ahaha. i dono lahh. don care alr. no more studyin for me man! tired of studyin alr lahh. everyday close up in my room then mug mug mug. wth pls. don tink im gona do well tis time.

english paper one i had enough inspiration to write saddening stories! HHAAHAH. cose i choose the on doin ' a sad day' . ahaha. i have enough experience to write tat man! chinese no more inspiration, no more good stories lahh. they shld put chinese first. cose chinese no matter how i write my marks will still be quite high and at least wont drain away my inspiration. but eng, no matter how much inspiration i have is useless man. cose i nv ever get high marks for eng de lahh.

then for eng paper two was.....my summary the words over 150 but i jus put there 150. ahaha. anyway alot cancellation[?] so hopefully the tcher belief me. HAHHA.

maths paper two? dono which is which lahh. was ok bahh. i left one ques blank onli. but onli one mark shld be ok bahh? dont tink i will fail tat? the tcher keep walkin and standin behind me lahh! stupid mr tan. mke me cant concentrate on tinkin can. i noe i lesson time look very blur lahh. but dont need stand behind see my ans rite? i noe how to do de lahh. wan see see other ppl de lahh.

then chinese paper two was ok. left two blank, dono how to write xia zhai and ji lu-.- xia zhai is coseforget how to read the word so end up forgettin how to write the word also lohh. ji lu is totally dono how to write. ahahha.

then d&t is ok? i thot one hour not enough lohh. but hu noes one hour is more than enough. so i ended up using the left over time to trace the gears out so tat they look nicer. ahahha. but the tcher keep walkin here and there, esp behind me. make until i buay tahan donwan trace alr-.- hopefully i wouldn fail tats all. cose i dono de is all guess. see wat word i like jus anyhow write down. HAHAHA.

lit was the worst of the worst lahh! i pratically was DISTRATED by the tcher! they keep walkin here and there lahh. AND, CAN THEY STOP STANDING BEHIND ME?! i jus feel like tellin them to stop walkin ard. i cant concentrate at all pls. so ended up i jus wrote rubbish down. as much rubbish as possible to mke the paper full of words. ahahah. beside me tat crazy dono use how many paper pls-.- i wonder wat she write. ahah. but her words super duper uper big lahh. how big the line is she write how big. super rite? i can even see from my table wat she writing.

science was.... dono how to say. memorised all the things like crazy but still nth much went in-.- jus hope i wouldn fail it. but, at least i managed to finish doin the paper tis time(:

history was ohh my goodness-.- studied so much read so much tryin to get things into my head but still didn-.- the questions came out was wat i studied but i jus cant rmb. so as usual, write rubbish to fill up the page. HAHHA. and mrs chia kept cmin in to be funny and tell us the answers until the tcher laugh at her! AHHAA. super stupid can. and today the invigilator[?] is worst! ms chan, walk up and down non-stop. until the last few min wen she is suppose to go then she stop walkin-.- after doin i counted and onli jus pass wif those im confident wif. jia lat alr. later mrschia gona nag nag nag and say the old same words. 'why u all always fail?then still dare to tok so much.'

geography was hilarious. got one ques i stare at it. the ques noe me but i dono the ques-.- dono wat the ques tokin abt at all. the words all kan bu dong one. allien words man! ms lim set until so diff for wat? so i jus anyhow see which word nice and looks familar then jus write down. AHHAHA. the world map labelling was worst. HAHA. the ques ask us to label where is china and some other unknown areas. but i dono wth is china. so i close my eyes and anyhow swing the pen then draw a X there. ahahhaa. the unknown areas i jus see wat nice then write down. ahahha. super stupid. even the section C part i dono wat i writin. their pictures so unclear. dono where the picture pointin to at all. i don wanna fail man!

after geo everybody HIGH man! ahaha. all relax liao. ate at the pathetic canteen wif onli 3 stalls open? then and went to wingyu's hse wif winny, qihuan and jaselyn. her sis sure was cute! ahaha. but i still tink my sis young tat time cuter! HAHAHAA. they jaselyn and qihuan carry kaiyao like a toy can! u see them carry also will bei xia dao man! i dont dare carry her. cose scare later nong dao ta. ahaha. i can see tat babies seems to like me alot. ahahaa. cose even if im wif my baby cousins, they tend to laugh alot too. ahaha. perhaps its cose i have a crazy stupid sis at home.

after playin wif wingyu's sis we went down to play bball. two against two. nobody counted score so didn bothered. ahaha. but we had fun playin. ahaha. i hit dao winny and she hit dao me. ahaha. laugh until i canot shoot lahh. and i forgot bball and dribble the ball. HAHAHAA. i played the netball style. by not moving the leg. ahhaa. i tink tat i seriously is study until go crazy alr. laughed alot today.

sometimes, i seriously want to be isolated from everyone.