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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill

okk, this post is gona be QUITE vulgar. so bear wif it. cose im feeling damn fucked up now. by many things. okk, so wed was trg and practically there was only 4sec2s-.- crap pls. bcose of the stupid nomad thingy. mke us also cant use court-.-

practically, we ran outside 2rounds. came back and did gym. paired wif xingjie. ive realised im always pairing wif same ppl. but i find it beta though. HEH. her legs are super strong lahh. okk, then we went back and ermm, did some drills. then ended trg wif 3sets of suicides): my right knee just doesn seem so right since morning though. but im just really too lazy to bother anymore. and sadly, only left wif me and alyssa to go opp to eat. and i went hme wif seniors. how amazing?

then thurs i forgot wat ive done. and today, had pe in the morning then ssrp for eng period. boring lahh. then recess and ssrp for maths. finished the work which was assigned to us very fast. no idea why though. just feel like doin it quickly. and practically many ppl were tokin abt old hag wong. yeahh, wat they said were right. but writing petition is so not the thing to do now. i mean like, which assing principal will listen to the students? unless we had the evidence of wat the fucking tcher said and of course they have to believe us. i mean like, use ur brains lahh. no use writing the fucking petition. if want, we get the evidence of stupid old hag wong insulting us and the sch. then we gang up and mke her angry till death mann.... and gang up meaning the whole class must be united and DARE TO SPEAK UP in front of her!-.- but i doubt tat day will ever come. HEH.

then was science. our good tcher ms poon wai mun didn come today!!! hao lai bu lai, pian pian xuan zhe tian bu lai. so the sci lesson was damn boring. and was stupid damn fucking PW. i guessed correctly man. our fcking pw tcher is old hag wong. wtf pls. i dont wanna be vulgar but i really had enough of her lahh. though she dont dare to pick on me alr but i really see until VERY BU SHUANG how she kept insulting others. like seriously, even the guys dont dare to speak up. WHERE'S THEIR COURAGE AND PRIDE MAN?! okk, yeahh, i noe the dumb tcher will threaten to call parents and tats wat ALL students are afraid of. but not me(: cose nobody will bother anyway. and i doubt the tcher can complain abt any other things except my behavior?

but seriously, i tink one day wen i really buay tahan like last time, im seriously gona SUAN her RIGHT infront of the whole class! i had enough of her kept insulting us like as though shes some empress and we're her servants or smth. lucky pw grping winny wanted to grp wif me man. if not i surely die die again-.-

then finally after sch. and we went to do our stupid sci investigation. okk, the idea which came from me and the internet failed-.- hmm, im so bu gan yuan can. perhaps the instructions arent tat clear. and we didn have th time lahh. hus fault? HAHA. enough of blaming though. eveyrbody have a part to play in a grp work lahh.

so we thought of smthing else cose i really dont wanna do a report on an experiment which failed. so we did smthing else which succeeded. and then its the end of the day. dont feel like elaborating anymore. want noe more mayb can go huan, yao, winny or wing blog? IF they did post abt it? cose i tink ill upload the pictures nxt time.

cose u noe why? im feeling damn damn damn pissed off. im contradicting again. seeriously, im really damn damn tired of tinkin abt others, putting them first, helping ppl and being suck a guai kia which nobody will worry abt me. im really dman tired of it alr. i just feel like being a pai kia suddenly. its really easy for me u noe. as u can see, my character is the damn very easy du lan kind. and damn diao right? so its damn easy to be pai kia type lohh. but i choose not to. cose im not dumb to go do that. but smtimes i really feel very tired. really tired till i dono what to do. i help them save money they say i waste the money on other things instead of eating and then gettin gastric. but tink abt urself. wat abt ur? ur waste ur damn bloody money on some stupid betting stuffs or some crap which ur do. isnt the money ur gave me used on better stuffs? at least the stuffs i made could be kept for long as momento or smth. wat abt the thing ur bought? momento? i tink its like just some rubbish picked from the bin pls! FUCKER. i seriously dont feel like staying in this fucking shit ass home anymore u noe. i seriously dont mind if they sees this. i really had enough. really enough. ur only noe how to blame and blame. wat abt us? i really wanna be like her and stay out all day long. or go get a work and really earn my OWN money. FUCKER FUCKER FUCKER SUCKER. SHIT ASS LAHH! I REALLY FEEL LIKE SHOUTING EVERYTHING TO THEM NOW. I REALLY HATE TIS FUCKING SHIT ASS HOME U NOE! FUCKER SHIT LAHH!

I WARN UR, IF UR EVER READ TIS, PRETEND U DIDNT SEE ANYTHING AND DONT TRY TO ASK ME ANYTHING. IF NOT U'LL ONLY PISSED ME FURTHER. AND DONT TINK IM SOME IDIOT AND COME TRY ASKIN ME FEW DAYS LATER. COSE IM NOT STUPID PLS. BCOSE I REALLY NEED SOMEWHERE TO TYPE ALL MY FUSTRATION!!! SUCKER MUCH PLS.

hmm, i doubt i'll be bloggin on weekdays alr. perhaps not even weekends. cose i doubt i have the time tis week? plus im lazy yahh. HAHA.

so practically ytd was the first day of sch and it was still ok lahh. only tat some tchers change. like the stupid chinese tcher! AHHA. NO MORE BORING LESSONS!! hopefully tis dono wat goh tcher will be better. but co-form totally sucks pls. he stand at the exact same position for the WHOLE 45min! ohh mann, i wonder how he did tat? and ppl says his shhoes is super ultra polished! AHHA. even better than UG ppl siia. AHHA. we told tat to ms poon and she give us the diao bin again. HAHAH.

sadness lahh, ms poon gona quit. alamak can. but heng we didn get mr toh!!! HAHAHA. if not totally sian liao. his voice is like low like dono wat crap and so damn soft. i cant hear a single word cming from his mouth at the back pls! even if i heard, i dont understand. cose he dont open his damn mouth to tok! and its so damn monotone. far worst than nair's slow voice man. i seirously wonder wat had got into those tchers these days. cant they tok more lively in order to spice up the lesson a little?

and ms wong totally sucks big time lahH! sucker. change back to original seat at first term can! sucker shit lahh. her memory sucks also! damn freak can! still dare say wat let us sit diff place. if not some ppl everytime sit at bad places. and yet they keep gettin the places wif fans!! FUCK. i seriously hate sittin at the window there. NO FAN, NO WIND. FUCK MAN. damn ms wong. SUCKER LAHH! everybody can get to change to diff place EVERY TERM LAHH! cose thers FOUR ROWS?! FUCKER MAN. HER MATHS SUCKS LIKE HELL LAHH. PRACTICALLY, SHES NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING. NOT EVEN CHINESE-.- damn, i seriously had enough sittin at no fan places. u noe how warm izzit to wear tat damn THICK sch uni?! DAMN.

okk, enough of complaining. so ytd had trg also. i tink im startin to look forward to trgs alr. though i noe tis gona get tougher. and tis gona get to the part which i really hate. meaning the running part lahh. but tis time, im SO NOT gona let anybody to take away my position alr. i have to work hard for it! NO PAIN, NO GAIN. HEH. and we're startin to bond liao. AHHA. tats a good sign lahh! trgs are gettin funner. HAHA. wen first trg tat time i totally dread goin lahh. cose of the runnings and other reasons. but now, i dont mind having more trgs! HEH.

seems like many ppl kept complaining abt jiajia heh? yahh, obviously i noe tat nobody dares to type her name out or even say her name wen her frens are there or watever. but do u tink i care? cose seriously, i dont tink she fit to be in the team. im serious. im not jealous or watsoever pls. cose if it was mcs, i tell u, if she didn go trg for 1mnth+ alr, and her attitude towards netball sucks, shes long ago sack alr! i cant believe ms lee still bothers to go and ask her to cme back. see, tats the diff, tchers are biased yahh! just bcose of ONE particular reason, someone gets to stay. i mean, okk, doesnt matter. anyway ppl might not tink how i tink is correct either. esp tchers. so theres no point tinkin abt all tis either.

so tmr might be friendly might be trg. but i suppose its most probably trg. but i hope its friendly instead. HAHA. i dont mind playin against stnic lehh. HAHA.

so today was ok lahh. nth much to say. but only, I DONT KNOW WHY I FEEL SO TIRED-.- i feel like slpin in the bus yet i scare i will miss the stop. HAHA. and i just cant fall asleep in class. cose its just so damn it WARM!!!

so im gona be back to the busy days again. cose we have to rush out the stupid sci investigation which is supposed to be done by june hols actually. HAHA. plus adding in my slping time, totally no extra time come use com. so, end of story. im not gona use com tat often anymore.

I'VE JUST DRANK TEA JUST NOW.
SO IM GONA SLEEP NOW.
HEH.

okk, the previous post abit screwed. and i dont feel like bothering. so its ur choice whether u wanna read(:

damn, i feel so....contradicting? cose im suppose to do tis stupid irritatin chinese project. and im alr like so slack in the grp. cose i didnt go and help to video take. so im suppose to do the editing now. and damn, its like so damn hard. i mean putting in all the subtitles and stuffs. translating is ok, since my grp ppl alr did tat for me. but puttin them in takes lots of time siia-.- haizz. i feel like boxing the tchers man! wth do they even give us such projects?! not like as though its gona help us in any ways?

seems like i only blog wen theres trg. HEH. cose its like if there no trg, i doubt i even have anything to blog abt lahh.

so today i reach sch at 840. and wat? theres nobody in sch. i mean like theres not a single netballer in sch yet man! coolio lahh. its like so far tis year its my first time first to reach siia! AHHAH. i suppose nowadays we dont come so early anymore? i rmb last year its like even 30min bfore trg starts practically everybody is there alr.

so since the sky looks uber dark, we run 1 pyramid instead. then stretches and gym. and seriously, the gym sucks a whole lahh. mr ling still dare tell the physio tat its in GOOD condition. wat crap pls? its like lan until cant lan alr still call good condition? the outside one is even worst lahh! gooshh, and they rather install some stupid CCTV rather than a clock-.- crap ass lahh. hus gona steal the machines anyway? okk, say tat the CCTV is to see hu vandalised or spoilt the machines, but did they go do anything? NO. so wats the point of installing so damn many bloody CCTVs ard in the sch? and the stupid sch rather go waste the extra money buyin new computers and stuffs rather than go upgrade some MORE useful stuffs, like upgrade the gym?! computers are somewhat impt, but its like, can use can alr. cose hu in the sch will even wanna do their work in the sch com? i doubt only those tat com spoilt or no com will use-.- and they can mayb go build a lift also? i seriously find the sch always spending alot of money on some unneccessary stupid stuffs than end up we have to go get money for them? no sense lahh pls-.-

after gym did some passes and ball control stuffs. totally feel as though my arms are so gona drop off my shoulder any time lahh. then the four corner thingy. i suddenly forget how to do square siia. AHHAHA.

okk, then after tat had game. i haven really been performing up to standard man. i dono wats got into me again): played WA, WD then C. WA, felt so lost and passes like dono wat crap. WD, crap man, i cant seem to defend well lahh. lazy feet and hands again): and huey fen is really too hiong alr. perhaps tats wat mke her a good defender. tat kinda daring not everyone can do it. tats wat im lacking off): haizzz. then C, no energy again. and wat? im like the only sec 2 in the opponents goal third-.-

i realised i can like perform better wen im playin C. though im really damn tired, but i seriously realise i perform better. as in like, wen im REALLY INTO the game tat time. wen my mind is totally blank and the only thoughts are to win tat game and bring the ball down. and wen im really into the game, i'll only feel tired wen i stop or tryin to get the ball back. though playin WD is my most favourite position, but its seems like i cant perform well. i just tend to allow the stupid attacker to get JUST RIGHT INFRONT of me to get the damn ball. i mean like, i cant seem to get into the game and play it all out. i just tend to get lazy wen im playin WD. perhaps im really tinking too much nowadays. i shld just go back to my normal self. play netball to my best and stop worrying abt others. if i noe ive tried my best its alright alr. i must be back the daring and aggressive me. if not i can nv improve even though i noe wat im supposed to do.

so after game trg ended. and then we're told tat theres no friendlies or carnival if u call tat, is cancelled-.- wtf? im like so damn looking forward to it. cose its been a long time since we've played friendly. but come to tink of it, is our team ready yet? i mean like, can we really cooperate on court? are we able to noe wat is each and every of us is tinkin on court? will be tend to clash often? perhaps one friendly is able to determine all tis. hopefully we're all ready alr(:

so after trg went opp eat and then off to amk there find things. then dont have so went to tpy. bought the stuffs i want and homed. i tink tat im mainly like spending alot money on the stuffs i bought rather than on food which im suppose to. like wen i was given abt 22dollars and more than half the money is spent on the stuffs i bought rather than food. smtimes after trg my meal cost only 1.20. HAHA. meaning my lunch was only bbt. HAHAH.

okk, enough said. i tink im only coming online to do my work alr. got to mke FULL use of tis LAST week mannn...... finish the book, finish 2book reviews, finish mking the presents, finish doin maths ws, finish chi and sci projs. i suppose tats abt wat i have to finish within tis week. i doubt i'll be able to finish the sci projects man. okk, so im off to watch my shows now. HEHH.

trg today. outside 2round. i tink my stamina improved A LITTLE. cose i dont feel so like dying alr. HHAA.

then did 4 sets of circuit. physical trg lahh. stairs, step up, crunches, dips and some weird stuffs lahh. then did some ball control stuffs and passes. haven been doin ball control stuffs lately lahh. ncc ppl wanna use court so we used the foyer area instead. shooters do their shooting thingy and others ball control again. did wif jaselyn and huey fen. i prefer the pull in lahh. wifout the tapping on leg de. and my left hand is super ultra lousy! and they will purposely go throw tat hand. HEH. wen huey fen serious is like damn scary can. somemore the pass will be damn hard. scary siia~

after tat was suicide AGAIN-.- i tink we'll be doin tat for nxt trg also lohh. tired lahh. and i always anyhow stop. then went opp wif rachel. i actually asked for CHOCOLATE ice blended and the stupid aunty gave me COFFEE ice blended-.- wtc can! asshole man. mke me feel sleepy niia. yahh, i noe im weird. ppl drink caffaine is cant slp, i drink more i WILL feel VERY sleepy. HAHAH. weird right? tea also. my mother drink one cup cant slp for whole night. i drink two cup i very early slp liao. AHHAH. immune heh.

took bus home myself. sad case siia. its super early pls. and theres one person hu look so LIKE ms choo! okk, perhaps i miss her too much. HAHA. i seriously hate myself for not tokin to her during nsl lahh! its like shes only 1m away from me lohh): haizz, i dono wen i will see her again.

reached home bathe, redecorate my room, read my book and slept all the way till 640. i dont even feel like waking up man. today is super boring. i dont mind if i have to even trg WHOLE day ok! i seriously dont mind ehh. just dont ask me do sprintings and ALOT of running can liao(: and today i did ALOT of passing lahh! like my right shoulder haven fully recover from i-dono-wat pain in there.

i wanna do the presents but i haven buy finish everything i need lehh. wanna go ang mo kio there see again. if dont have need go tpy. hu wanna go wif me? HAHAH. i doubt theres anybody lahh. jia lat. i seriously dono wen i will finish my presents...........

i shall give monique face to do her quiz man! its like super long?


ist out the top 5 birthday present that you wish for:
1. grow taller!
2. stop having those stupid irritating pains.
3. better stamina
4. ppl to stop having stupid troubles!
5. everybody can be truely happy!(:

Answer the following questions:

1.(the person who last tag you is ...)
monique.

2.(your relationship with him/her is ...)
shes my junior from mcs cum mei cum good fren?

3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..)
1. crazy.
2. hyper.
3. friendly.
4. blur!
5. super anyhow.

4.(the most memorable thing he/she had done for you)
errm, i dono lehh.

5.(the most memorable words he/she had said to you)
heh? she said alot.

6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..)
dont be crazy. im not a les heh.

7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
i told u she cant be my lover-.-

8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...)
tats impossible also. unless something got into my mind.

9. (if he/she beomes your enemy, the reason will be ...)
i said its IMPOSSIBLE-.-

10.(the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ...)
finish mking her birthday present and hopefully she likes it?

11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...)
blur, crazy, forever hyper!

12.(how you think people around you will feel about you?)
erm, i suppose they will all say im super dao?

13.(the character you love of yourself are ...)
i dont love myself(:

14.(on the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are ...)
being myself.

15.(the most ideal person you want to be is ...)
everybody have their own probs, so being myself is somewhat quite satisfying alr.

16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ...)
thanks alot?

17.(pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you)(random)obviously if u did read tis u dont have to do. cose its super long! but if u wanna go go ahead.
1. monique
2. devika
3. belle
4. sze min
5. jackie
6. yanting
7. qian yan
8. qi huan
9. winny
10. clarissa

18.(Who is no.6 having relationship with?)
yanting; ahhaa, erm, dont have i tink?

19.(Is no.9 a male or female?)
winny; female lahh.

20.(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)
qianyan&crs; erm, i doubt so?

21.(How about no.8 and 5?)
qihuan&jackie; if they're ever together, i tink there will NEVER be peace.

22.(What is no.2 studying about?)
devika; erm, same as me lohh.

23.(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?)
belle; good question. i tink was monday?

24.(What kind of music band does no.8 like?)
qihuan; ermm, no idea.

25.(Does no.1 has any siblings?)
yeahh. one bro.

26.(Will you woo no.3?)
belle; heh. she have her own target siia! HAHAH

27.(How about no.7?)
qianyan; eeyyeerrr. i tink i'll have no peace if i ever did tat-.-

28.(Is no.4 single?)
szemin; hehe. i doubt so lehh. she forever got target de. HAHA

29.(What's the surname of no.5?)
jackie; ong lohh.

30.(What's the hobby of no.4?)
szemin; volleyball? i doubt so. AHHA. i tink its more like targetting ppl! HAHA

31.(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?)
jackie&winny; HEH. yeahh, but winny always kana bullied. HAHAH

32.(Where is no.2 studying at?)
devika; mfss

33.(Talk something casually about no.1)
monique; shes forever crazy!

34.(Have you try developing feelings for no.8?)
qihuan; shes my fren, obviously no-.-

35.(Where does no.9 live at?)
winny; i just went there today! ang mo kio lohh....

36.(What color does no.4 like?)
szemin; ehh, red arhh? i cant believe i cant rmb man...

37.(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)
monique&jackie; HEH. they're just frens hu dont really noe each other?

38.(Does no.7 likes no.2?)
qianyan&devika; ehh, they dont noe each other lahh-.-

39.(How do you get to know no.2?)
devika; pri sch fren since p3 but we only tok in p5. HAH

40.(Does no.1 have any pets?)
monique; ehh, i dont tink so?

41.(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?)
qianyan; HAHAHA, sadly, but no. HAHAHA. dont feel hurt.


okk, i finally finished this ultra long quiz-.- never ever ask me to do such quiz again ok, monique ng! it took me like ultra long lahh. now, be thankful i did it. HAHHA. okk, im suppose to slp. if not im so gona be late for trg tmr!

i tink its time to blog so i came to blog. HEH. anyway, everytime i blog its normally abt netball anyway.

so....

YTD
damn lahh. its like wen im at lentor reservoir i was like, 'omg, so dark, surely rain liao.' then i was like ' HAHA, dont need run outside.' HAHAHA. obviously i didn say it out lahh. not will be like some crazy idiot pls. then at ajc, heavy rain-.- i didn bring umbrella siia-.- why cant like wait A FEW more bus stops?

then i reach the bus stop i was like, let me see someone i noe lehh. then suay suay, one also dont have. only saw that stupid john chew hu kept staring at me-.- obviously i STARED back wif the sibeh buay shuang expression. so i no choice just walk across. wanted to run de, but its like no diff. still will whole body wet. so just walk to sch.

then ran 1pyramid instead. beta than outside of course! actually watchin video but the stupid thingy not workin. so forget it. then paired up wif simin to do ball control stuffs. and some other things lahh. forget alr. i kana hit by the ball so many times can!-.- then the 4ppl thing was super funny. everybody blur-ed diao lahh! HAHA.

then was game i suppose? okk, played C only. i was like lost can. cose dono hu wanna run up. then wanna run ppl block-.- crap lahh. and only me and alyssa in the team which are sec2s. so its like super cant really cooperate properly. i dono wen they wanna run, throw and everything. then sometimes they also dont really dare throw to me and i cant shout at them. so its super weird for me lehh. suppose to play another quarter of C but dont feel like and very tired. AHHA.

playin C tat time i was like walkin past jackie and huey fen then i was sayin 'wo yao si le'. then huey fen was like 'orhh! wo ting dao le' AHHA. okk, was kinda meant for them to hear actually. cose i dont wanna run tat much. HEH. but ya lahh, i noe i didn put in my best effort. but i still rather play WD though i dont play as well as i play C lahh.

then after tat was suicide. i seriously pity those hu play as C then straight away need to do suicide lahh. i tell u if its me i surely die. so im so HENG i didn continue playin. the seniors all sprint until siao can. then i was like 'must we run so fast?' then jackie said 'ehh, suicide lehh. u thought wat?' then i go 'heh, ya horr.' seriously the word suicide really suit tat activity can. totally like making us committing suicide lahh! though i dono how to spell the word for tat paticular activity. but the pronounciation is correct.

then finally end trg. then went opp eat. then went home. was suppose to like go safra yishun de orchid bowl as told by jackie ong! then ended up they went orchid country club-.- like wth pls. mke me walked tat long long way end up nth-.- i mean like i did weird things ok!
#1 i took 8o6 just for another 2 bus stop which can walk there.
#2 i walked the nobody will walk way to safra[cose normally ppl will take 812]
#3 i stood there like idiot waiting-.-
#4 i walked back through the park-.-
#5 i was like cursing, kicking leaves, open closing calling ppl using my phone till it died on me-.-
#6 i bathe alr yet perspire like mad after WALKING one WHOLE BIG round around the park-.-

then i actually wanted to cycle to orchid country club as it was the ONLY way there. unless i had a car or go back yishun take shuttle bus?! then wen i walk half way, they called again and i told them i didn wanna go alr. then i called back my mother and told her dont have to bring the bic down anymore. and wat? my mother was still AT HOME wen i was alr like one more street to my hse? shes slow dao bu xing can! so i came walking home and complaining to my mother.

then wen i reach home i had a call from them again, sayin occ no lane to bowl-.- so ended up they wanna go safra again. and i was like wtf? u expect me to walk there again?! then i asked my motehr to call there to ask. end up there is worst. need wait till 6+-.- obviously can. i saw so many ppl walking in and out while i was waiting for them. so end up i just stayed at home using com.


TODAY
woke up at 10 then went to bathe and ate and off to winny tio hse. was late meetin huan and wing. paisehh huh. i noe im always late(:

then started on lit proj. like FINALLY we FINISHED SOMTHING. HAHAH. and i still have to like edit a little more and the stupid damn poem. but its super coolio. HAHAHA. shooting the tchers. HAHAH. hopefully they understand. if not i tink they will tink tat we're writing abt insects-.- but still, i wonder how yao is gona act it out o.O i am SO not gona act it out ok!

so we aare suppose to move onto the botanic gardens thingy. but ended up stupid winny tio dont have the pics. still dare come say wat have everything except the video-.- crap ass siia! then investigation everybody sian diao. all dont feel like doin. so we decided to just like tell ms poon we dont wan do. HAHA. but its obvious tat we cant do tat. HAHAH. then we ended up chatting.

then homed ard 6+. bought some food at hub then home. on the way to mrt i tink i saw weizhen's bro. i tink so only. so tats my day again.

tmr trg. dont feel like running again man.... super sian of running alr. i finally understand why some trackers will like pon their trg. cose its like just plain running lahh. super bo liao pls. unless its weights lahh.

okk, tis post is just gona be random. and if u ever understand tis, then its good for u. but if u dont, dont try coming to me to ask me wats goin on wif me. cose there's practically nth goin on wif me. even if there really is smth on goin on wif me, i dont need help.

i do noe tat u trust me, and its not a matter of whether i trust u to tell u wat im feeling. u can say its just a phobia in me tat i'll nv ever tell someone how i really ever feel ever again. cose its a past which made me like dat. not just one practicular event but many. so i seriously hope u do understand tat i do trust u. but u're just not the person which i'll ever confide in. as in those really confidential stuffs. im not tryin to hurt u here but just tryin to tell u tat i trust u but i wont tell u my true feelings and stuffs bcose i wanna get far away from my past. cose everything links back to it and i really wanna get away from it. u may be curious to noe abt it but u noe it urself i'll nv ever tell ever again. unless u're part of my past and noe wat happened. so im just tryin to tell u tat i trust u but i wont tell u wat im feeling. and that wen i said smth, i truely mean it. and if u really understand me well, u shld noe i dont say those so called mushy words to me TAT often. as in not tat really mushy words lahh. even words and thankyou and sorry is very hard for me to say. so pls understand tat wenever i say tat i mean it. unless theres like a singlish at the back. meaning its not tat sincere and it is used to _ ppl. but tat happens DAMN seldom. so i seriously hope u could understand. if u doesn, i tink theres nth i can do anymore. u do noe i hate explaining myself(:

_ is a word im tryin to put it into words. okk, u'll have to try to figure out wat im sayin. HAHA.

its monday again): like the 1month holiday is so gona be over DAMN SOON. and wat, no hmewrks nor projects are EVEN TOUCH-.- i am so gona be dead man.

so today had trg. i had discount siia. but arhh, i still ran like the same speed as the fast runner which are running at outside): but i dono why my right knee the bottom there was like so pain wen i run. but still, i told myself to persist down. i alr had a discount alr, and if i still cant do it, im hopeless case.

then went gym. i like the pull up machine. HAHAHA. cose it mke me feel as though im flyin siia. HAHAH. and i totally hate the both machine where need use the knee joint. cose i practically need ALOT of strength to do tat): yeahh, my knee there the muscle is damn weak i noe. every one time up, my knee will go 'crack'-.- i tink liko's one is worst man! at least wen i bend theres no crack. but hers, gossh, its scary.

after tat 1h+ gym session had ball handling stuffs and pair ball. OMG can! liko passes are like damn high and damn hard! pure jumping is enough to use up all my energy alr): some of the balls even wen i jump at my highest i also CANT reach! and some i land until as though im gona turn my knee another way round. gooshhh, i really tink i have to buck up alr. wen i do wif her i feel as though im like a burden or smth to her lahh! and her expression is damn diff. i still tink doin pair ball wif huey fen is much better. HAHA. cose at least she dont throw so high and hard. but still pairing wif liko can at least help me to improve on my passes.

then the shooters had their shooting thingy goin on. and the others had a game of floorball. okk, i sucks at being a scorer ok! like it always go diagonally from the area to goal -.- and i tink defending is super nice. cose u just have to like anyhow hit actually. HAHHA. and i suppose some ppl got fed up and use their legs instead. HAHAH. example of the some ppl is me. HAHAHA. its like so much easier.

then after tat the shooters haven shoot finish so we continued doin the four point drills. then we finally ended our trg. then went to eat. okk, they ate and i drank. cose seriously, i dont really like to eat there. i mean like, there got nth i feel like eating de. and then theres this super ultra creepy guy came walkin ard smilling to dono hu and doin weird actions. and then jackie go act smart to go follow his actions and the guy also entertain her. HAHAH. its like really super creepy can. and he's like walking ard then lookin under the table we are sittin at our shoes. like, wats there to look man? so we all are like laughin like some mad ass. and the table nxt to us saw the creepy guy coming they all ran away. like its really super funny and creepy ok! wen we're like running off he's waving to jackie lahh! HAHAHA. hu ask her act smart go follow him. HAHHHA.

then we went back to yishun wif liko and janette. and since it was still so early, me and jackie decided to go all the way back to tpy by mrt of course. HAHAH. its jackie tats wastin more money so i dont mind goin. HAHAHAH. bought the stuffs we wanted from clay doddle if tats the shop name. HAHAHA. then went to lib to return the books and borrow again. HAHA. i forgot i bought a new book at home man! and i still borrowed another 2 books. HAHA. and jackie borrowed like 4books of russell lee book-.- after tat went to buy some food and homed.

i tink i'll have muscle aches tmr): and sad case nobody is free tmr to go watch kung fu panda wif me): damn, means i have to watch it online. and it destroys the fun. HAHA. so guess im gona stay home tmr to watch and read and perhaps cycling again(:

today i did nth except of watchin shows and stuffs. HAH. i finally watch finish detective academy Q! and im goin watch finish prince caspian too! HAHAHA. then im goin watch indiana jones and kung fu panda if im not goin to cinema to watch. HEH(:

so after watchin till 630+ my sis bug me to go down to cycle wif her. so i tink its a good idea of training my quads muscle a little since cycling was my plan just tat i did not follow it at all. HAHA. and the shows are loading damn slowly so went to to cycle instead. then ard 730 came up eat and continued watchin. and tats my day.

tmr trg. thinkin of the 2rounds alr killed me. but still, the thoughts of not goin trg will nv come up anymore(: cose i noe im not gona give up tat easily(:

when you're a child, you'll always think that you want to grow up as soon as possible. but when you're older, you'll regret of being a grown up. being a child for some people may not be THAT great. but to me, i think that will be the happiest time i'll ever be again. cause for me when i'm young, i kinda already had everything i wanted. though it may not be THAT perfect for what i really hoped to have. i think it's already VERY perfect. and being a child, you don't have to worry about anything at all. cause that thing you will think of is that your parents will help you no matter what. even if the sky drops, your parent will be there to help you out. but for me, it's a total different case. but still, that's how i grew up. and the main point is that. whatever you want to do when you're a child, nothing could stop you. thats for my case. the determination i had in everything. i didn't had to worry about anything before. cause that wasn't me. okk, actually i kinda dont really understand wat im tryin to say alr. perhaps yahh, my sis is really a duplicate of me. no matter how hard smth is, she still determined to finished it. and no matter how much i scold her, shes still as stuborn as me. but tokin abt stuborness, nobody could outfight me(: but still, i really dont want her to be like me. though smtimes i really hated her a whole lot. cose i compared me wif her and yet they treate us both so differently. i hated her for gettin wat we couldn get. but afterall, i just couldnt bear to hate them but just him. wenever i dream abt her, i start cryin. how i wished i didn noe how to cry again):

im serious abt tis, u noe how much i hated telling ppl how i feel.
so cant u just pretend u didn notice anything?
even if u understood wat im tryin to say,
just leave me alone.

u noe wat i feel like doin now? i feel like PLUCKING out my left tonsil to change for a in good condition one! and DISLOCATING both my shoulders and get a in good condition onoe too man! my throat is damn damn damn pain now bcose of my tonsil lahh! fuck man, surely is infection again): i should have went for the opp years ago. and my shoulders, it feels like the muscle tear): and yet i still trained ytd doin alot things which need to use my right hand de): damn ass. today feel worst alr lahh! crap crap crap crap crap.....

okk, so i shall tok abt ytd and today.

YTD
trg. 2rounds again. tat nearly killed my knees again. i wanted to stop but i did not, i wanted to chase up to the ones near to me but i cant): damn disappointing i tell u. i dono if its bcose these few days weather gettin a LITTLE colder then my knee joints start hurtin again): and tis time is the JOINT, not the muscle at the quads or hamstring. and its like both the knees? how u wan me run faster or even run man?! but still i persisted to finish the run. its its ever possible, someone go invent running using hands yahh(: i mean not invent, but teach me how. HAHA

then was strengthening stuffs. bcose the volleyball ppl used the gym alr. i suppose it will be quite helpful to me bahh? yeahh, and i noe i perspire alot. sorry for wettin the mat and dirtying it lohh. i dont wanna perspire tat much either, but its not up to me yahh(: at least tis time not as bad as tat time after game. HAHA. same batch as me de surely noe wat im sayin. HAHA

then was erm, the four points thingy again. i tink its time i did better. only for the fact tat i always nv see bfore i throw back. as in like will shock others or nv throw to the correct person.

after tat i supposed we played games? if i didn rmb wrongly lahh. i tink ive improved A LITTLE as a C? i felt as though im back to the time where we were having carnival wif rgs ppl. cose i seriously chionged ALOT. i tink its bcose of some things ppl said? bcose of the hunger of intercepting the ball back and pass it to the shooter to SHOOT it in(: BUT, i was seriously DAMN tired alr! but it wasn VERY fair as the sec2s had all the centre pass(:

i was like hoping mr lee will change me. cose im really damn tired. so wenever the ball goes to the seniors side, i'll stop following the C. HAHA. lazy lahh. but my passes were really damn bad. wanna throw far yet nv put in more strength and throw properly. plus i tend to forget tat im playin as a C not a WD-.- so overall, i tink i tried my best as a C alr. only tat i had real bad passes and bad stamina):

as a WD, i was glad theres one centre pass where we didn let the GA and WA out(: i had not idea hu was the GD actually. i tink its jane? but still, i wasn tat close): and i tink i work beta wif alyssa. though she sometimes really slack ALOT. everytime loose ball ask me go pick where its at her side-.- and my timing for jumps really DAMN off-.-

okk, so i tink after game its the end of trg. then went to the market there to eat wif liko and jackie. chatted and homed. and then jackie didn wanna go home again. so we walked ard np AGAIN-.- then ard 5+ then go home. HAHA. can u imagine? from 9-12+ we're like trg and i perspire ALOT. then went to eat and reach np at ard 2+. then walk ard wif the very smelly body until 5+ then reach home. HHAHA. amazing me lahh. so tats my day(:


TODAY
woke up super early to go WWW wif the team. but ended up like only half the team. or shld i say LESS than half the team! crap man! all not free or tuition or canot come out-.- even rachel came man! so we reached there ard 11+. though it was raining, we still continued to play. as in, they didn stop anybody obviously everybody will continue right?

but one thing, the water will be SUPER cold and wen u get out, u will be SUPER cold again. i tink my lips even turn purple! so overall, i tink its quite fun lahh!but if more ppl went, i tink it will be more fun.

then went kfc to eat and went zone x to play. HHAAA. long time no go arcade heh? but yahh, didn play much lahh. we only stucked on tat basket ball machine. theres like a smaller version one. and jackie's bent on gettin into the final stage. me and alyssa was TOTALLY sian diao-.- watchin her play over and over again.

OHH! and theres one super duper uber funny thing happened! theres one boy i tink ard p1 or 2? and i supposed hes alone. he went to take neoprint HIMSELF. and guess wat he did? stood infront of the camera right after puttin in the coins-.- he didn even choose anything or wat lahh. so the first picture was blank-.- then he knew and choosed smthing and stood RIGHT infront of the camera AGAIN. and first picture was just him wif his face wifout smilling or anything. then the nxt is him again wif his specs drop a little lower. HAHA. then he took finish and didn noe where the photos will be! so he walked in and out in and out but still dono where is it. until we walked to the other side and saw and we kept laughin like some idiots! HAHAHA. his photos are really DAMN funny ok! so we told him wheres the picture and he went there and he didn noe wat to do either. then he just left-.- so we decided to like decorate the photos. but then after tat we decided to be nice and help him print out the photos the way he wanted. then we printed it out and continued laughin like mad! HAHAHA. and we took awhile to find him lahh. then he went to fold the neoprints-.- dumb can him! we all laughed like crazies lahh! HAHAHA

so after jackie got enoughed of playin. and exchanged for tat pathetic small purse which u can get it for mayb 1dollar plus. she got it for like less than 10dollars-.- stupid right? play arcade mus go to the machines where get the most ticket for playin one game de. yet she die die also only wanna play basketball. or shld i say, we didn noe wat to play? HAHA. as in, i tink me and alyssa was super sian and dont REALLY felt like playin?

so after tat went to ntuc to get drinks since no one brought water and we were thirsty? after tat homed. long journey man! and ive missed my narnia again-.- all bcose of jackie ong! and they did it on purpose. dont want let me go home watch narnia. AHHA. so wat its disney channel man! AHAHA. i do abit tat the word disney channel may sounds kidish and stuffs. but the shows are nice ok! HAHA. i mean cartoons. aiya, its my habbit of watchin cartoons can. and narnia i actually goin to watch finish alr lahh. cose of the stupid coach driver!

damn damn damn. my right leg is damn pain now! ytd my whole lower body is like alr gona die. i guess i over used my legs again): i hate tis kinda pain ok. its like muscle ache at the thigh then knee joint abit off again then mke until the whole leg VERY suan): crap ass ok!

so today started off wif 2rounds outside again): today's run was a little better lahh. didn had stomach pain. plus i didn pain or tired until walk. tis time its like leg also no strength and no stamina-.- stupid lahh. and i hate it wen passing the sch area there. cose the fruit or watever it is tat drop down from the tree is DAMN SMELLY-.- so tat kinda made me wanna run faster.

and guess wat? in the morning i actually didn wanna cme trg! i actually was coming up some stupid excuses in my brain for not wanting to cme trg! amazing heh? its TOTALLY my first time tinkin tat way. but still, i came(: as i said, i'll nv pon trg unless im terribly sick or somewhere broken or smth. AHHA. but i kinda took myself a long time to persuade myself not to tink haywire. but i asked myself, if i dont continue netball, wat can i even do? askin me to study hard all tis kinda things is total crap. i cant be a whole year round geek. so end up everything comes back to netball. like how round the netball is. HAHA.

so after the run my right leg was super like dead? i totally cant stretch it straight ok. i practically drag it while walkin. its seriously damn pain lahh. perhaps nxt time i shld really stretch a little bfore running alr.

so after warm up partner up again and did physical wif medicine balls. did wif huey fen and liko. they were like all long tokin abt minced meat noodles. HAHA. hungry ehh? they all very high lahh, but as u can see, i wont get high unless its something i like to do. so yahh, as usual, i wont tok alot. and seriously, i dono wat to say to them lehh. if i tok too much i find myself abit kpo lehh. then dont tok later ppl will say i dao again. but its serious tat i really dono wat to say!

the medicine balls stuffs were quite easy lahh. at least not like wat cheryl always asked us to do. running wif the medicine balls for ROUNDS will tired ok!

then was pair ball stuffs. i tink my passes today was better. though some were kinda not straight. HAHA. huey fen pull in was really nice lahh! zhen bu kui shi ge hao defender! HAHA. and my high release is still abit anyhow. HAHA. then was some drills. more on jumpings! HAHA. and just nice its something i need to work on also! so theres no more excuse sayin i cant do wat i got to improve on alr.

then was some soccer and netball game. okk, i hate it wen its like both kinda sports joining together. or mayb i shld say i hate playin tis kinda everybody together game. cose i'll be damn lazy to go and run for the ball. HAHA. and, i still feel weird calling seniors name. i dono why. and the game some kinda help me improve on wat i have to improve also. which is being daring. HAHA. weird right? if i say im not daring enough in netball. but its true. cose im seriously afraid tat i might hurt someone. moreover tis is like only trg. if hurt anybody it wont be very nice. but if its playin game wif other schs esp some i dont like, HAHA, easy lahh. so if i ever hurt someone during trg, then im sorry yahh!(:

so the other team won for the game. and after tat trg ended. went opp eat. seems like huey fen and liko really go eat minced meat noodles. HAHA. then after tat jackie didn wanna go back so early and we went the play ground there. they were walkin all over the playground to see all sorts of scribbled words at the playground lahh! and jackie was sayin tat we might see weizhen. HAHA. then i was sayin cant be de. and wat? we really saw her! HAHA. not bad heh? long time nv see her le anyway.

so after tat went home. bathed and was waiting for my sis to let me use the com-.- damn fuck lahh she. got laptop yet her laptop cant be used to watch her lecture stuffs-.- asshole man she. then waiting for her lecture thingy to load she go play neopets-.- tats totally -.- can. i alr forgotten how to play alr lahh. and i wait until too tired, so went to slp.

until ard 630 woke up and watch tv and use com. seems like tmr then i can do my book review heh.

i guess today im finally into trg. more mood and confidence alr. i doubt i'll ever tink of not goin trg anymore(: though i really hate the runnin part, but i guess tats one way i can train my stamina lahh. so endure and more endure(: i just hope my knee wont break and wont propose to anybody can alr(: and today's abit of dejavu huh? i thot i did the medicine ball stuffs somewhere bfore. but yet rmb cheryl can nv ask us to do tat. plus even if she did, the ppl are diff wat. yet lthe dejavu is totally similar. weird. i always had tis kinda stuffs. i rmb in pri sch i actually said wats gona happen later. HAH. is there really such thing as dejavu? weird~

its been a long long time since ive blogged and came online or even on the com! HAHA. totally no point in on-ing the com anyway. nth to watch now since i dont feel like gettin myself glued onto the com 24hours again. nth to surf on the net either. cose if i did, i wanna buy stuffs again where i got not enough money alr. HAHA. plus no one to tok to online either. no one to entertain to be exact. HAHA. cose tat particular person is AWAY until 7june? she good lahh, get to go alot places but yet still complain so much-.- if its me, i will alr be super happy!(: i suppose she'll be happy if she saw tis? HAHA.

so theres totally like no need for me to come online. and i on the com today just bcose i wanted to do my book review. HAHA. but ended up blog hopping and stuffs. AHHA. so i'll be using com again tmr if nth crops up after trg(:

so i shall just tok abt ytd's trg and today bahh?

ytd's trg was pretty screwed up for me lahh. the runnin part totally endangered my life. HAHA. exaggerating lahh! the 2rounds totally mke me wanna give up netball at the point of time ok! i mean it. its like my stomach dono why pain like hell till i cant stand up straight to even run can. i told myself to continue runnin, at least cant walk. but ended up the thoughts of giving up netball actually came up! cose the pain is just so unbearable. but ended up i still walked for that least bit but finished the run. tis time round my knees arent givin me trouble. its my stamina and body! my legs wanted me to carry on SPRINTING-.- but my stomach didn wan me to continue. i felt like faintin at tat point ok!

i seriously find myself super useless. ive overcome so many things alr. and yet, just this stupid 2rounds mke me felt like givin up netball for good. seriously i just wanted to break down at tat moment and kill myself for being such a useless asshole alright. so the bloody good 2rounds spoilt my whole day. as in i wasn performing at all-.- anyway, thanks yanting for like taking my tower for me after the run. cose i was perspiring profusely-.- i was glad i didn break down, i was glad my asthma did overwhelmed me. but i wasn glad i didn died or fainted at tat point of time. HAH.

after tat was the throwing of small balls, some drills and stuffs. wasn in my right mind yahh-.- i cant seem to get INTO trg nowadays. i dono why. my strength dropped alot! drastic drop can. but i can feel tat its coming back alr. and i can feel tat my quads muscle are gettin stronger(: and my catching and passin of balls are super horrendous ok! catching; kept dropping the balls. passing; always like crap. got to work on it alr.

after drills was game i suppose? wasn performing either. actually to be exact, i wasn even performing at the start of the first trg): ive been realising more and more stuffs ive got to work on. be it for attacking or defending. last time i only knew i had to work on two things. but now, theres more): do i have the time, the patience, the determination to work on them? i doubt so):

so after trg ended went opp eat and homed.

so today was suppose to go swim but my ma spoilt the plan again. so i went back to slp(: and cose my lower body was aching terribly): tat also mke me feel like restin at home instead.
then woke up ate and watch tv and read my book. and i finally read finish(: tats wen i decided to on the com to do my book review. HAHAHA. the book is a nicer way to die by sam mills. nice book though. the intensity is there. but i find the james person super coward and he thinks too much. HAHA. the tittle do sounds a little sadistic i noe. HAHA

so ard 5+ need my strengthening and conditioning. and guess wat? i was perspiring like some water tap again-.- when i didn even run a single bit-.- man oh man, i cant do my diamond push up tat properly anymore): even the knees up ones arent tat perfect either): sad sad sad.

so tats how i spent my day-.- and theres trg tmr. 2rounds again): got to get it right now. i must get on form tmr alr! train on all those which im lacking of! like wat mr lee said? he wants thinkin players(: but still, tinkin too much is so no good ok! cose u'll get over paranoid. hopefully i'll do wat i say yahh(:

its happening again):
i want to ask,
yet im not daring enough.
im really such a coward.
i guess i just cant get pass myself.
im such a promise breaker.
now, im even more in no position to hate anything anymore):
i just cant rmb wat i said to u.
i noe u'll hate me for tis,
but i suppose u dont rmb the pact anymore,
arent u?
im just so sorry.