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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
Old? Or just too much on my mind? Stress?
Thursday, November 22, 2012 1:37 AM

I do think it's been quite a while since I last fall sick right? Since I couldnt even count it, means its quite long ago! Hahahah.


Yeah, I know I was alr sick since start of polite. But it was just like flu and normal sore throat kind. But obviously I took care of my body so that I can play polite with ease lah.


But now, hahah, I dont even feel like caring. In fact, I really just wanna have a break from everything. Sigh..obviously being sick is not the right way out. Neither is being sick at this time good-.- so much work to complete and club stuffs to handle. Actually, I really dont feel like committing to anything alr. Cant believe im actually reconsidering whether I wanna go for trg this fri :/ if I was still the old me, I would not have reconsider. Since fever and sore throat was normal to me. Obviously i'll have a harder time at trg, but sacrifices are ti be made somehow right?


In the past, I would have chose to sacrifice my own health for netball. But now, I dono why will I want to do that anymore. Firstly, I definitely wont have the stamina to run. Secondly, my fever will definitely come back, even though im sweating. Cause it isnt my first time going for trg/playing game when my fever subside. Thirdly, my whole body would be aching from the fever and most prob strengthless. Fourthly, my throat is still in a mess-.-


Sigh, I think I shld just ignore and give trg a miss. Somehow I just wanna be irresponsible. Im sorry.


My sick isnt even getting any better. I think the amt of stress I have now isnt gona help me recover fast. Haiz... I really hate it when I think so much. Hate it when I can read what ppl think. Hate it when I trick ppl back. Hate it when I have to look like an idiot to beg them to come back. Hate it when ppl dont freaking put others before self and just wanna quit. What abt the ppl left behind? Why is it such an easy decision for u guys? I dare say the ONLY time I had such strong urge to quit is only during the sp's game. I felt like a totally useless piece of shit. Play so long, trained so much. Cant even take on someone shorter. Not abt the height I know. But its not like shes very fast. And I let my temper overwhelmed myself again. There isnt even anyone that could keep me in check. That was the only time I felt like a burden and totally useless to the team. Therefore no point staying.


But I know myself well enough to know that I really like playing netball. If possible, I really wanna just train hard and sit with the audience. Hahaha. Stupid I know. No idea why I have such a thinking. But im really quite tired of competing alr. I know im competitive, but somehow, along the way, it just dies off.


Somehow I just wanna focus on my studies now. Guess im really gona do that for club. As for sch, I still havent really decide.
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