profile guestbook affiliations history credits
“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
Choices
Saturday, August 29, 2015 5:17 AM

I guess I've never forgotten such stuffs before. Just somehow my brain wont allow me to. No matter how hard i try. So i realised i stopped trying. Only then the memories start fading.

But no matter what it is, i know i will get over it. Regardless how long the time I'll require, but I'll get over it my way. No longer bother to try pleasing others. Its never enough. I still believe that if ppl really understand me, theres no need for further explanation. Besides, if u really trust me, u'll understand my actions are all for a reason. But if u dont, i honestly dont see a point explaining or even trying to tone down or whatever.

I dont even know what im trying to type anymore. Im just too busy to think abt anything. But sometimes, im really glad some things happened. I learnt and definitely grew. Im glad some ppl returned back to my side even if it took them years to. This time, I'll never ever let them leave anymore. No longer going to push such ppl away. Everything happens for a reason. If u're to leave me even after me trying my best, i will let u go normally. So that if fate permits, we can be friends again.

Whenever im so busy, certain little actions or words from some ppl really just make me stop and think. Then, I'll realised theres more to life. Not just ppl u try very hard to hold on to that matters. Ppl that dont show and eventually still rmb u, thats what really should be held on to. I guess my life arent that bad either. Hahahah. When u learn to refocus, it wouldnt be that pain anymore.

When the door is closed, a window do open. I guess im starting to believe in this.

Somehow, i cant believe I've learnt how to feel. Though i cant quite come to a conclusion if its good or bad...
BACK TO TOP

Tired...
Thursday, August 20, 2015 1:58 AM

Sometimes i honestly dont want to continue anymore. Its just so tiring and pain. And just not all appreciate. Im really so tired of all these. I really do hope i break somewhere. So i can finally persuade myself to just stop trying already. Yes, I'll definitely miss it. But the pain I've been going through for so many years, is enough. How much i have to push myself to make me achieve something others can achieve easily.

Of course I've always wondered if i continued staying in gym what would have happened. Definitely many things would have changed. I wouldnt have met many many ppl. I probably wouldnt ever know how to feel or to have emotions other than anger. Hahahaha. But oh well, this is life. Life is never predictable.

Not forgetting the friends I've made through netball. Definitely my closest friends are mostly from netball. Since we probably spent alot of time tgt.

I'll probably just continue till im breaking apart. Which probably will come soon. The feeling everytime im trying to push myself to the limit, is really scary. Especially with ppl around my dying. I honestly dono how i should be feeling. I wish im not alone on this....
BACK TO TOP