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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill

hmmm, guess wat? i got that feeling that some ppl came my blog to view my results huh? HAHA. but i shall be nice and not tok abt my results. AHHA. but obviously, u guys DEFINITELY have ur own way to know my results right? HEH.

today's ptc was pretty much expected. seems like i can really read ppl's mind huh? even an adult cant hide from me(: but i got to admit smth. i kinda didn expect/read/guess/thought or watsoever word u can tink of to fit in that sentence that mr toh was actually THAT observant. yeahh, i am disappointed in my results. but i rmb not showing any expressions? but actually, any idiot would also guessed it out. bcose my results in sec2 wasnt that bad. although there are differences now. but it wouldnt cause such a big difference. kk, enough said.

now, i'll just tok abt some random stuffs i guess. if u get it, mayb its good for u. but if u dont, dont try to guess and interpret it urself. cose it will not do u any good but only more harm. HAHAHA.

somehow i realised something. i cant converse with some ppl without tokin to them face to face. and i hate those situations. cose i will TOTALLY feel like punching the person. and wif me not having enough patience, its really agitating. but some ppl, i can only tok to them wifout tokin face to face. kk, i noe theres a word for 'toking face to face' but in the mean time, i cant rmb! HAHAHA. those ppl when i face them, i really got nth to say. i dono why either. but its just like dat. (i noe this part might let u feel tat im referring to u, but im not. so dont tink too far. if u actually get it, which i really doubt u will.)

talking abt that i rmb abt being anti-social. yeahh, i definitely admit i AM anti-social. but u cant say im FULLY anti-social. cose if i am, i wont be in netball. but it is really hard mking frens for me. cose when i find that its useless talking to the person or mayb no common topic or mayb i noe how the person is like, i wouldnt go waste my breath/time/saliva or watever to go tok. okk, just state that im plain lazy. cose sometimes i really am. like after exams i wont tok much kind. cose normally ppl who sit around me arent ppl whom i have lots of things to say to kind. so u will either see me reading or staring into space doing nth. i also dono how i spent those time. i ebt some ppl will feel really bored. actually, i do feel bored, but theres just nth for me to do. i do wanna tok at times. but theres nth to say? kk, somehow i feel that the more i say the more i feel like im making excuses for myself. arent i?

its not that i did not laugh often or something. but the time when u see me isnt the time when its actually something i like to do. i would like to tell but i find that it would not do me any good. it would just mke me feel more awkward. is seeing me laugh really so weird and glad? perhaps mayb. am i really so cool, in a sense an ice kinda thing, in some ppl's eyes? i thought i would only let ppl have the feeling that im an proud asshole. the feeling of wanting to box me but u cant(HAHA) feeling. perhaps its time to do some reflection again huh?

im starting to have the feeling that i cant even converse properly wif them anymore. im starting to dislike talking to them. becose they dont get what im saying. neither do they understand what im saying. it really irritates me alot. actually im starting to feel lost and confused. i dono what to do/think/say and stuffs. i want to be good to her and not let her have the same memories as me but i cant. cose she kept mking me irritated. and i actually didnt noe they actually bothered abt wat i did. perhaps what he said was right. im too mature that i did not even think wat are their status. i was too self-disciplined that i didn realised i actually had the stress. but i noe tat as long as i play hard enough, i wouldnt have the stress. i do things that i believed in, thats who i am.

okk, i tink ive confused myself and the others more than enough. so i shall stop. though i have more to say. but nahh, it doesnt matter. u guys wouldnt get it, would u? ohh! and i have to state it again. THE ABOVE MENTIONED THINGS ARE NOT REFERRING TO ANYBODY. SO PLS DONT THINK SO FAR OR FEEL THINGS THAT U'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO FEEL(sounds really wrong. AHHA). AND DONT THINK THAT IM EMO-ING OR FEELING SAD OR WATEVER CRAP, COSE IM NOT. HMM, I RMB TYPING THIS LOTS OF TIME. AND IM GLAD U HEED MY ADVICE. PPL WHO DO NOT HEED MY ADVICE WOULD DEFINITELY END UP BEING SAD INSTEAD OF ME. HEH. SO YEAHH, BYEE. I FEEL LIKE MONQIUE AGAIN MAN.......HAHAA

k, i shall do a post mortem on the exams. HAHAHA. as u can see, ok, mayb u cant see. AHHAHA. okok. i was actually really nervous/anxious/scared/excited/panick and i dono what else to describe over the exams. actually, the feelings i named out may not even be wat i felt. HAHAHA. just feeling weird thats all. perhaps its bcose of the lack of confidence as i kinda haven been studying? k, yeahh, excuses from the point of view of tchers. but just, yeahh. i dono why either. i wont be surprised if i did quite badly this time. not up to standard? possibly....

kk, so lets see. paper 1s, erm, both paper same. i kinda only noe wat to write for the letter part! i seriously hope i can get above 20 for both? okk, wait, wats the total score for one letter writing? HAHAHA.

then both paper 2s. screwed..... both compre i dono wat im doing/writing/thinking. i just kinda didn have the mood. no idea why. i tink this time my chinese is the worst. i just got that 'wan dan liao' feeling. i didn eevn felt like toking abt it after the paper. it just really sucks lahh. the compre is actually easy. its smth i always tok about, and watch about. but i just dono why the answers cant seem to form in my head. this paper i seriously hope i dont fail. cose my CA1 results are alr like horrible? its like my first time ever ACTUALLY getting a C for my chinese? yeahh, i do ADMIT that i really slacken down ALOT esp for chinese. but i just cant help it. chinese in sec sch jsut seem to be so boring. perhaps the tching method is diff. and now, theres like no one to help me. at least last time still got shinyin help me. now, it seems like im back on my own. like how i was in pri sch. chinese class forever sitting alone. cose i always mke my frens kana scolded. AHHA. and i just didn felt like toking then. yeahh, dono why, in chinese class i always didn felt like toking.

i do hope i buck up for chinese lahh! its seriously getting from bad to worst. and i even realised that my first and second chinese test was really HORRIBLY done. and its the same marks-.- no improvements at all. CA was bad bcose of the freaking zuowen?! i tink tat was the first compo i had tis year. freak it lahh! i dont even have the mood to do and i just passed. amazing huh?

okk, enough complaining abt chinese. get to smth else. Amaths. i tink its gona be alright....i hope? Emaths paper 2 was alright bahh. cant really rmb. paper 1 nxt week. i kinda think that maths MIGHT be my only As left? damn pathetic. plus nobody believed that i fail my Emaths test. AHHAHA. why cant i fail? im a human too.

then geography. i was studying like mad for tis. i noe the answers to almost every questions. now its a matter of whether its correct anot. HAHAHA. and worst thing! MY EVALUATION!!! i didn manage to finish, but i finish all other questions. HAHAHA. cose i didn want to waste time tinkin of the evaluating points. AHHAHA. then when i started writing, everything in my mind came pouring out. but it was too late. *PENS DOWN* -.- freak it. i only manage to write till bad points-.- damn it man. i hope the actually count the other points above. and i hope its correct. if not 8marks fly away~! MAYB i MIGHT get an A for this subj too? I DO HOPE SO.....

lets see, still got wat else? bio, THE GRAPH!!!!!!!!!! URGHHHHHH!!!!! i shld have followed my instincts ok! instead of the logic. HAHAHA. okk, i tink my logic was wrong too. HAHAHAHA. the graph is suppose to go DOWNNNNN!!!! and i drew a down and up!!! freak it! i rmb that i saw or did it somewhere that the graph normally goes down!!! URGGGHHH!!! irritatin lahh!

combine science. physics, anyhow do. hopefully my anyhow is correct de. chemistry, also abit anyhow. but not as anyhow as physics. HAHAHA. kk, to admit, i didn have the mood to do exams anymore. cose netball came back on my mind. HAHAHA. yeahh, excuses again.

ohh, and last one. which is the first paper of MYE. SS-.- but hor, i cant rmb wat happened. HAHAHAH.

kk, done my post mortem alr. HAHAHA. next is crapping time(:

bfore MYE i was so busy till i didn have the time to tink abt netball. in a sense, it was ACTUALLY OFF MY MIND. i didn believe i could do it. cose ever since sec sch i was DEPRIVED of netball. AHHAHA. actually, of what amount then i will not be deprive of it i also dono. i just really want to play it everyday and every free time. i was really so busy.

actually, come to tink of it. soemtimes i really wonder wat i was doing. actually, quiting ever came into my mind. 5years+ gone. and yet all i do now is just more and more disappointments. and all ive noe is play netball, teamwork, teamsprit, cooperation, hypocrites and more weird stuffs that actually could be learned somewhere else.

i realised ive devoted most of my time into netball. ive learned nth else. other than netball, theres nth im strong at alr! and saying abt netball, i dont even tink im counted strong. so wats abt having experience and knowing ppl and everything? tis society is just this realistic. once u're short, once u have more injuries, once the coach dont like u, once the coach dont believe u, u're done for. u dont worth anything. I SWEAR IM NOT PIN-POINTING ON ANYONE. in fact, i shld be glad for tat. they're the ones hu show me wat i shld improve on.

i DO noe wats my MAJOR shortcomings. which is my stamina and me having asthma. yeahh, u can say its excuses again. i dono how to push myself pass that limit. im afraid the thing that i dont want it to happen will happen. perhaps im not trying hard enough. i do hope someone could help me. i do hope they give me a chance. i noe i wont quit. but its just tat i wanna learn more things. soemthing new and something ive wanted to learn all along. i dont noe either. now even studies i cant seem to handle well anymore. i tink ive alr lost confidence in both netball and studies. but i noe for netball, once im on court, im somebody else.

i do believe in practise makes perfect. u do it everyday, soon, it'll become part of u. i hope i do the same to my studies at times. but its JUST SO BORING. cant help it. as for netball, i do hope its a everyday thing. but i noe that no one will one to do that wif me.they'll just tink im crazy. HAHAH. but at least 5days a week?

sometimes, i really wanna get the 'too-tired-to-do-anything' feeling. i rmb always getting them after a game of netball. it just seem so empty. perhaps like wat i say, no achievements. but what do i mean by achievements? like wat ms lee asked. actually, i dont really noe too. even now, i dono why im playing netball. the play it just bcose i like it feeling is like gone? i mean, izzit true tat after awhile, competitiveness overwhelm u? i dono either. the feeling like pri sch is diff alr. perhaps its bcose its a grp of diff ppl and im no longer a main. i dono. i was really shocked and angry when i first came in. but wat else could i do? ive stopped for such a long time. as in for me, its really long. i trained wif younger ones. ive trained in one position and going on court for another. sometimes i really wanna ask the coach wat they are thinking. okk, actually only two questions to 2person. but i dont tink i'll ever ask. cose its over. yeahh, u cant blame no one but urself. u're just one useless bum who no one sees a potential in u. perhaps i shld have gone to one of her schs instead. but will i really improve? or just bcose she alr noe hu am i and thus training me even if i couldnt improve? but yeahh, everyone has their way of doing things.

izzit that gettin a medal or trophy then its called achievements? i really dono. but i dont tink so. cose i always believe that the process is the most impt. and most imptly, enjoy the game. here goes my story again. HAHAH. i rmb playing nationals round in a friendly way. HAHAHA. i dono why either. both the team did so! cose we're just too nice ppl! AHHA. no lahh, cose we no fighting sprit lahh can. HAHAHA. cose we noe we cant beat than and they noe we cant beat them. so yeahh, we just played a friendly. but of course, we did not gave in bcose we noe each other. we still gave our best shot. we all have sportsmanship de. AHHAHA. its just like always. after the game, back to friends. so watch out. if u ever play wif me, and i noe u, i wont give way to u just bcose i noe u. but rest assure that i would not say about the style of ur play. i remember snatching away a ball from the hands of my previous teammate! HAHAHA.

okk, i tink its enough lahh. 5years+ of netball-ing wont end just like tat. stories will always go on and memories will be kept. perhaps these are the achievements. but it arent the same anymore in sec sch. hear me saying or even typing these stuffs abt sec sch? the experience is just not enough, practises are not enough. and most imptly, im not even in main. yeahh, the thing i'll nv get over. wasted 3years. shld have jungle wif smth else instead! perhaps the only achievements are the frens ive made. some are real some are fake. i can see u through and through. HAHAHHAH. sounds wrong! if u get it......

its wrong.
everything seem to have gone wrong in a flash.
i cant seem to settle down anymore.
its just so messy in there.
things just have to go out someday for spring cleaning.