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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
im feeling confused. i would like to run away from reality all over again pls.
Saturday, November 10, 2007 9:03 PM

i was told to wake up early in the mornin cose my grandma jus passed away. but ended up reachin tpy at 9+?

had those funeral stuffs. bcose its my father's side grandma i had to do many many things. im onli QUITE free on sunday and monday. i was told not to go for tues trg. but i insisted on goin and kept askin till my parents was fed up wif me and jus let me go. but i tink it will be very rushing. cose i want to go for trg and trg ends at 6 then i have to rush back home to bathe then rush back to tpy for the ritual thingy. i got the bad feeling im gona get scolded on tat day. plus my parents say they are gona walk here and there? meanin i'll actually be very tired. cose it's after trg. and normally after trg my knees and ankles will undergo hell-.-

but im not gona care. i alr cant go for wednesday game! i reali jus wanna forget abt everything. though i did not cry for the funeral. but the feeling jus felt weird. though my grandma wasn close to me, but it jus felt reali weird wifout seeing her face. many ppl cried though.

the whole process. from which the body was being carried into the coffin. i saw it all. but i didnt noe why wen the coffin cover was being knocked tightly in, i had the urge to cry. but obviously i held back my tears.

i reali jus wanna have a nice and fun trg to let me forget everything. netball is the only thing i can do to forget everything alr. i jus feel confused, like everything is happening again. i dont noe why i felt tat way too. perhaps i feel reali very lonely. i wan someone to pei me but i've no idea hu can pei me at all. i jus feel.....i dono. perhaps i jus wanan have someone to tok to.

seems like the whole hse gona be mine for the whole night. cose i dont feel like goin to the funeral tonight. theres no use for me to go there at all.

so, abt netball, i've no idea wat to do at all. even abt the team shoes, if they get it on monday perhaps i'll still be able to go. though my parents will be nagging and scolding. im used to it anyway. cose i noe they dont understand how netball is impt to me. tues i'll be telling mrs ong i wont be able to go for game bahh. hopefully she doesn give me hell on tues. after wednesday i tink i'll be back to my normal life. perhaps i still kinda lucky tat my grandma pass away bfore the perth trip. if not i dont even tink i can go for the perth trip alr.

now i know how it feels like to have someone with you when you cry.
i wish there was someone there for me too.
and i promised i'll be there for anybody whenever they need me.
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