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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
my skills and everything is droppin year by year.
Monday, November 05, 2007 9:38 PM

today's game we are suppose to win. but sad case, we lost): i still did not show her i actually CAN be worked out as a defender. im jus a total useless piece of shit lahh. i cant defend and attack. like perhaps one day i shld change a CCA huh? i totally hate myself lahh. like seriously wen can i ever excel real good at ONE thing tat i reali wanted? or izzit my expectation too high? i dont tink so at all lahh. i jus wana be back my self tat can be worked out ON COURT no matter wat position i play.

guess i seriously have to work extra hard to get a FIX position. or not i dont tink anybody noes how to put me on court): like today, first quater C. then GD, then WD and then back to C. like seriously i cant guess wats on their minds anymore man. but still, IF i did not interpret wrongly, i tink its bcose of my knees. like, i did not want tat to happen either. if i could turn back time i would have took care of myself MORE.

but i still tink tat we should not have lost today's game. like, we've won them bfore right? if i didn rmb wrongly lahh. ahaha. i tink i played like dono wat today. timings all OFF again. like wen can i cool down? and stop lettin emotions overwhelm me? guess seriously i still need someone to shout at me huh.

today i onli thot of winning and proving to her i could do it. like i dont tink im suppose to tink it tat way. perhaps i should start takin things more easily. and not gettin easily agitated on court? but actually tats how i get energy to continue.

i STILL tink the team needs more trg. those SERIOUS ones. and short full game at the end of trgs? not i dont tink we will even mke it to zonals! cose it kinda seems like we're changing to south zone? which have MANY strong teams.

i tink im tinkin TOO much. but still, i tink im a PATHETIC ASS LAHH!
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