Decipher the Story of My Life

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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill

time to update?
Saturday, October 11, 2008 11:07 PM

hmm, i tink its time to update? HAHA. broke record siia. more than a month wifout blogging. WOWNESS. AHHAHA. aiya, at least i did come online k! just tat im lazy to blog only mahh.

but arhh, even if i did blog, i have no idea wat to blog abt lehh. nth happened? just tat exams are over? hmm, just hope i didn screwed up any. though i noe tat i wont do well for english tis time. no more B ): but as long as i dont fail, im alr very happy. cose i screwed my oral and paper1. which is alr like more than half the percentage of the whole eng exam? i tink? to be exact, i tink its like my first time screwing up english oral until i felt really bad abt it.

okk, to be EVEN MORE exact, its actually my first time not feeling good for the WHOLE FYE-.- i dono why either. even wen it was during psle, which was like 2years ago thing, i didn felt tis way even though there were probs goin on. i could just drown myself in the piles of work. yeahh, i may ALWAYS look alright at any point of time. but actually i aren alright. i just dont want to show it and let ppl noe. tis time, i just couldn set my mind right. theres just something goin on in there. i couldn concentrate at all. but lucky me, i did not really screw up other papers except for eng paper1 and maths paper2. and guess wat? its my VERY first time screwing up any maths paper.

i guess theres really a big prob goin on. even bfore the whole exam started there was things goin on alr. and i always had the feeling something was goin to happen. as u can see, my eyelid kept jumping. HEH. i told my ma tat i scared i will fail my exams. and guess wat she replied? 'nvm, u can take again nxt time' (in chinese) and i was like ' YOUR HEAD LAHH! tis is streaming lehh. no way am i goin to take it again nxt time!' back. HAHA. see! tats why i always said i didn have to report any of my sch stuffs to her. or to anybody. cose nobody ever bother. its always me bothering everything. i stopped tryin to bluff myself and tell her my results ever since MYE ended. only if i failed. but still, there wont be any reaction. ur must be thinking that i have a very good mother right? HAH, but for me, i dont want tis. i rather she scold me. i rather feel the pressure than just kidding myself tat she bothered. nvm, ur wont understand.

come to realise, actually no one understood me. even if i told, no one understood. and so wat if i did? im just really envy of those who shen zai fu zhong bu zhi fu ppl. so wat if ur parents invade ur privacy? so wat if ur parents dont allow u to go out? so wat if ur parents ask u to stay at home to do work? so wat if ur parents dont allow u to stay out late? so wat? at least ur parents do such things. but me? i want also dont have. theres only two type of ppl when they dont have their parents to care abt them. its either those who dont have parents to care abt them they have the money from their parents to spend. or either both also dont have. so far, ive only meet ppl wif the first option. im not tryin to ask anyone to pity me cose i dont need them. but i just want to tell those who are more fortunate than me to go cherish wat their parents gave them. dont take them for granted. till the day u noe they do tat for the sake of u. if u have probs wif them, tok things out properly. wat couldn be solve? yeahh, u may say im the same. but at least i did tok, just tat i didn tell them how i felt. cose i noe they noe it long ago, and from how i behave i tink they noe.

okk, i tink i blog long enough alr. happy now? ohh! and dont tink im sad or watever. cose im not. dont try to comfort me nor try pitying me. cose i hate it(:

我希望我不会再回头看了。
我也希望我不会想要再去管别人的感受了。