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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
haizzz...
Wednesday, February 04, 2009 8:59 PM

felt like bloggin, so here i am.

that kind of feeling, how do i even describe it? i want to tell someone but i dont noe how to. i dont care how ppl will feel abt me but im just gona say wat im feeling. just had the need to type it out. sometimes i really dono how i feel. at the bench sitting there doing wat im suppose to do. first time ever, yes. i dont noe how im suppose to feel actually. wif her watchin, and her looking at me in tat way. i really dono how im suppose to feel. i can sense that she wants me to go over. but i noe i wont noe how to explain. and i dont want bcose i was her player and get tat particular advantage or wat. i noe i have to do it this time. 6years gone. after 2nd year nth was done and nth was achieved. this cant go on any longer. it HAVE TO be changed. even when they played wif other teams, wif my frens or those familar faces there, i dono how im suppose to feel either. i just faked myself i felt nth. faked tat i was alright. but afterall, i noe im lost for words. to me, i just felt like a helper. an extra. nahh, i really dono. experience, so what? it doesn serve any purpose. i dont noe if i could go on. but i noe if i never even try, then its really called failed. i know i could do it but i just lacked of the determination.

nahh, i dont noe. i dont want to tink so much. i dont want to despise or even demoralise myself now. if not i could just go and die alr. i just dont want to regret or get another useless trophy. that isnt why i joined. i hope things go my way now......
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