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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
i forgot wat i wanted to blog!
Tuesday, March 03, 2009 10:25 PM

guess wat? i actually wanted to blog and remember wat i wanted to blog. but bcose im TOO busy multi-tasking, i ended up forgetting wat i wanna blog. and the feeling is kinda gone. HAHA. but of course, as a long-post-typed of person. i could just easily type out something! AHHAHA

so, k, results first thing. not as good as i expect for some, but overall, everything's still fine. just for the fact tat we're having two test for NOT pure geo students. how unfair. DAMN! if not my last test would be like today alr?! i hope i didn screw my Amaths! but anyway, clean record broken, so lazy care so much alr. no idea why am i bothering so much abt my results either, which i normally dont. perhaps its bcose im not in my right mind either.

then now, lets tok abt SSRP today. two periods free. wow right? VERY GOOD time to slack. btu guess wat? i didn even slack! i tink i more of like stoned instead? no fun anymore! 2/2 still have the best ppl to slack with! and STILL, i CANT socialise/blend in and watever with ANY class since p5. like freak, i really dono wats wif me. i hate the things tat went wrong for me. bcose fo all these tat happened i jut couldnt be myself anymore. even some small stuffs could mke me feel like crying or even cry. like fuck pls, i really dont wanna be like this anymore. ppl always say tat sec sch like is the best and the frens last long. but for me, sec sch life is BORING like fuck. pardon me for using such languages but i just feel like using the word(: nth nice happen, nth nice things to keep me busy, no netball-ing everyday, nobody to crap like nobody's business in class, nobody to fight with, nobody to noe wat im feeling/thinking, nobody to mke me happy. NOTHING. u noe wat's the WORST thing? until now, 2years plus PAST, but i still dono wat im doin in this sch. so wat noeing so many ppl? they CANT keep me company, they dont let me feel as though they are ACTUALLY my frens. its not tat i expect much from my frens, neither izzit bcose i want them to listen to me. perhaps yahh, my pri sch frens definitely noe tat i'll tend to get angry if ppl dont listen to me. but of course, if its something constructive or correct or watever, of course i'll go their way! sometimes i really wanna go bad, at the very least, i have something to do and even feel tat im actually needed kinda thing? no, not needed, cose those type of frens are useless. at least mayb meet some loyal frens or mayb even some frens hu could NOT BE HYPOCRITES.

I HAD ENOUGH OF HYPOCRITES LET ME TELL U. i realised i changed. i could NO LONGER stand or hang out wif ppl i DONT like anymore. so for those whom i always hang out wif, and u hang out wif ppl i dnt like, tats it. u either choose me or tat particular person. im not tryin to put huever in a spot or to gang up against anybody. but i just wanna be more myself for the time being. neither am i showing how impt am i or smething. cose if u actually noe me, i can jolly well just go home everyday after sch to be tat loner of mine. not tat i need anybody's company. though i would like to have it, but it doesnt matter if i have to force ppl to be wif me. cose i noe they're not themselves and im not myself. AHHA. i just hope i could continue like pri sch to play netball everyday. i tink only then i feel like im myself. only then perhaps i feel those ppl which would play netball wif me are actually my frens. but i dont tink tis ever the same. cose ppl would just waste time and ended up dono doin wat shit or either there's nobody to stay back at all.

hmm, okk, the feeling is really gone, i cant rmb wat i wanna type! okk, just to update yi xia, i tink im gona learn things tat i could do ALONE at home or something. HEH. like guitar, shooting or archery! HEH. just guess so lahh. cose obviously i have to save my OWN money if i wanna do tat. and there's much more things i have to do wif my own money. guess i'll jut have to skip meals frequently! ohh! and i realised tat ive been forgeting to do hmewrks! HAHA, okk, random yes. but yahh, i tend to not care anymore. too tired of all the tchers shit. ive no idea when i'll blow either. yeahh, u guys might hear my voice loud and clear soon wif either frens or tchers(:

i really tink it's a chore staying at home. wif my mother nagging and nagging like nobody's business. or actually, its ACTUALLY nobody's business. worst thing, its NOT nagging at me. but my sis. and even more worst, shes like practically repeating wat she said to me last time to my sis. but EVEN MORE WORST, my sis is really so stupid to listen to wat my mother say. and wat she say is QI HUA-.- dumb fuck right? two word= no backbone-.-

i have to stay strong,
i must stay strong,
and i need to stay strong.
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