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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill

k, i shall do a post mortem on the exams. HAHAHA. as u can see, ok, mayb u cant see. AHHAHA. okok. i was actually really nervous/anxious/scared/excited/panick and i dono what else to describe over the exams. actually, the feelings i named out may not even be wat i felt. HAHAHA. just feeling weird thats all. perhaps its bcose of the lack of confidence as i kinda haven been studying? k, yeahh, excuses from the point of view of tchers. but just, yeahh. i dono why either. i wont be surprised if i did quite badly this time. not up to standard? possibly....

kk, so lets see. paper 1s, erm, both paper same. i kinda only noe wat to write for the letter part! i seriously hope i can get above 20 for both? okk, wait, wats the total score for one letter writing? HAHAHA.

then both paper 2s. screwed..... both compre i dono wat im doing/writing/thinking. i just kinda didn have the mood. no idea why. i tink this time my chinese is the worst. i just got that 'wan dan liao' feeling. i didn eevn felt like toking abt it after the paper. it just really sucks lahh. the compre is actually easy. its smth i always tok about, and watch about. but i just dono why the answers cant seem to form in my head. this paper i seriously hope i dont fail. cose my CA1 results are alr like horrible? its like my first time ever ACTUALLY getting a C for my chinese? yeahh, i do ADMIT that i really slacken down ALOT esp for chinese. but i just cant help it. chinese in sec sch jsut seem to be so boring. perhaps the tching method is diff. and now, theres like no one to help me. at least last time still got shinyin help me. now, it seems like im back on my own. like how i was in pri sch. chinese class forever sitting alone. cose i always mke my frens kana scolded. AHHA. and i just didn felt like toking then. yeahh, dono why, in chinese class i always didn felt like toking.

i do hope i buck up for chinese lahh! its seriously getting from bad to worst. and i even realised that my first and second chinese test was really HORRIBLY done. and its the same marks-.- no improvements at all. CA was bad bcose of the freaking zuowen?! i tink tat was the first compo i had tis year. freak it lahh! i dont even have the mood to do and i just passed. amazing huh?

okk, enough complaining abt chinese. get to smth else. Amaths. i tink its gona be alright....i hope? Emaths paper 2 was alright bahh. cant really rmb. paper 1 nxt week. i kinda think that maths MIGHT be my only As left? damn pathetic. plus nobody believed that i fail my Emaths test. AHHAHA. why cant i fail? im a human too.

then geography. i was studying like mad for tis. i noe the answers to almost every questions. now its a matter of whether its correct anot. HAHAHA. and worst thing! MY EVALUATION!!! i didn manage to finish, but i finish all other questions. HAHAHA. cose i didn want to waste time tinkin of the evaluating points. AHHAHA. then when i started writing, everything in my mind came pouring out. but it was too late. *PENS DOWN* -.- freak it. i only manage to write till bad points-.- damn it man. i hope the actually count the other points above. and i hope its correct. if not 8marks fly away~! MAYB i MIGHT get an A for this subj too? I DO HOPE SO.....

lets see, still got wat else? bio, THE GRAPH!!!!!!!!!! URGHHHHHH!!!!! i shld have followed my instincts ok! instead of the logic. HAHAHA. okk, i tink my logic was wrong too. HAHAHAHA. the graph is suppose to go DOWNNNNN!!!! and i drew a down and up!!! freak it! i rmb that i saw or did it somewhere that the graph normally goes down!!! URGGGHHH!!! irritatin lahh!

combine science. physics, anyhow do. hopefully my anyhow is correct de. chemistry, also abit anyhow. but not as anyhow as physics. HAHAHA. kk, to admit, i didn have the mood to do exams anymore. cose netball came back on my mind. HAHAHA. yeahh, excuses again.

ohh, and last one. which is the first paper of MYE. SS-.- but hor, i cant rmb wat happened. HAHAHAH.

kk, done my post mortem alr. HAHAHA. next is crapping time(:

bfore MYE i was so busy till i didn have the time to tink abt netball. in a sense, it was ACTUALLY OFF MY MIND. i didn believe i could do it. cose ever since sec sch i was DEPRIVED of netball. AHHAHA. actually, of what amount then i will not be deprive of it i also dono. i just really want to play it everyday and every free time. i was really so busy.

actually, come to tink of it. soemtimes i really wonder wat i was doing. actually, quiting ever came into my mind. 5years+ gone. and yet all i do now is just more and more disappointments. and all ive noe is play netball, teamwork, teamsprit, cooperation, hypocrites and more weird stuffs that actually could be learned somewhere else.

i realised ive devoted most of my time into netball. ive learned nth else. other than netball, theres nth im strong at alr! and saying abt netball, i dont even tink im counted strong. so wats abt having experience and knowing ppl and everything? tis society is just this realistic. once u're short, once u have more injuries, once the coach dont like u, once the coach dont believe u, u're done for. u dont worth anything. I SWEAR IM NOT PIN-POINTING ON ANYONE. in fact, i shld be glad for tat. they're the ones hu show me wat i shld improve on.

i DO noe wats my MAJOR shortcomings. which is my stamina and me having asthma. yeahh, u can say its excuses again. i dono how to push myself pass that limit. im afraid the thing that i dont want it to happen will happen. perhaps im not trying hard enough. i do hope someone could help me. i do hope they give me a chance. i noe i wont quit. but its just tat i wanna learn more things. soemthing new and something ive wanted to learn all along. i dont noe either. now even studies i cant seem to handle well anymore. i tink ive alr lost confidence in both netball and studies. but i noe for netball, once im on court, im somebody else.

i do believe in practise makes perfect. u do it everyday, soon, it'll become part of u. i hope i do the same to my studies at times. but its JUST SO BORING. cant help it. as for netball, i do hope its a everyday thing. but i noe that no one will one to do that wif me.they'll just tink im crazy. HAHAH. but at least 5days a week?

sometimes, i really wanna get the 'too-tired-to-do-anything' feeling. i rmb always getting them after a game of netball. it just seem so empty. perhaps like wat i say, no achievements. but what do i mean by achievements? like wat ms lee asked. actually, i dont really noe too. even now, i dono why im playing netball. the play it just bcose i like it feeling is like gone? i mean, izzit true tat after awhile, competitiveness overwhelm u? i dono either. the feeling like pri sch is diff alr. perhaps its bcose its a grp of diff ppl and im no longer a main. i dono. i was really shocked and angry when i first came in. but wat else could i do? ive stopped for such a long time. as in for me, its really long. i trained wif younger ones. ive trained in one position and going on court for another. sometimes i really wanna ask the coach wat they are thinking. okk, actually only two questions to 2person. but i dont tink i'll ever ask. cose its over. yeahh, u cant blame no one but urself. u're just one useless bum who no one sees a potential in u. perhaps i shld have gone to one of her schs instead. but will i really improve? or just bcose she alr noe hu am i and thus training me even if i couldnt improve? but yeahh, everyone has their way of doing things.

izzit that gettin a medal or trophy then its called achievements? i really dono. but i dont tink so. cose i always believe that the process is the most impt. and most imptly, enjoy the game. here goes my story again. HAHAH. i rmb playing nationals round in a friendly way. HAHAHA. i dono why either. both the team did so! cose we're just too nice ppl! AHHA. no lahh, cose we no fighting sprit lahh can. HAHAHA. cose we noe we cant beat than and they noe we cant beat them. so yeahh, we just played a friendly. but of course, we did not gave in bcose we noe each other. we still gave our best shot. we all have sportsmanship de. AHHAHA. its just like always. after the game, back to friends. so watch out. if u ever play wif me, and i noe u, i wont give way to u just bcose i noe u. but rest assure that i would not say about the style of ur play. i remember snatching away a ball from the hands of my previous teammate! HAHAHA.

okk, i tink its enough lahh. 5years+ of netball-ing wont end just like tat. stories will always go on and memories will be kept. perhaps these are the achievements. but it arent the same anymore in sec sch. hear me saying or even typing these stuffs abt sec sch? the experience is just not enough, practises are not enough. and most imptly, im not even in main. yeahh, the thing i'll nv get over. wasted 3years. shld have jungle wif smth else instead! perhaps the only achievements are the frens ive made. some are real some are fake. i can see u through and through. HAHAHHAH. sounds wrong! if u get it......

its wrong.
everything seem to have gone wrong in a flash.
i cant seem to settle down anymore.
its just so messy in there.
things just have to go out someday for spring cleaning.