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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill

FYE's results sucks much heh? so far got back everything except english? and ive only gotten 2 As-.- thats pathetic. all the others all B3 and perhaps one B4? and maybe a C for english. HAHAH. its really pathetic man. all those subjects which i thought i would have just flunk it, i got pretty well for it. then those i thought i would have scored quite well was totally terrible. not to the extent that i failed, but im not even close to an A2!-.-

but good thing is, i did not fail anything. but maybe for self comfort and self denial, i did not really studied much. and even if i did, nothing really did enter my brain. i dont know why but its just like dat. ohh, and i bet i did not mention anything about blanking out right? HAHAH. if i did not rmb wrongly, the day when we had Amaths was the day we had physics paper? and Amaths was first paper. i dont know why after Amaths paper im like blank out. my vision suddenly grew darker, and i felt like fainting. perhaps i was over anxious/nervous or watever lahh. but i somehow managed to calm myself down after a while. but when physics paper start, all the nervousness and stuffs came back. HAHAHA. hmm, no idea what im trying to say either. HAHAH

guess i'll just have to stay positive. HAHAH. as long as i can promote to sec4! HAHAHAH.

and one thing for today is that, im ACHING LIKE CRAZY!!!! my right hand is like cant really write man. i dont even feel like moving! but typing doesnt hurt. HAHAHAH

so ytd was trg. good start? maybe. think the previous trying to get back a little of my stamina exercises worked out pretty well? didn felt tired for the 3rounds. HAHA. perhaps its because its only 3rounds. HAHAHHA. but the 2rounds timing one was pretty fast ehh. first one was only within 35sec! but my legs and lungs are dying on me alr. so i really couldnt continue sprinting. note i said sprinting. i couldnt really take a deep breathe after that 2rounds. by the end of the 2rounds, lots of lactic acid had alr built up within me. HAHAHA.

then was those normal stuffs. i guess holding on and not giving up easily do help in my stamina. but showing that im tired is not going to help me to gain trust. but at the very least i've tried to hold it there.

the last part of trg was the worst of the worst man! we had to do 9 sets of 9 sit ups, push ups, wall sits and static hold. the worst is wall sits. others was pretty alright. i dont know why but my legs just keep shivering. i cant really control them. even when i did it at home bfore trg starts, the shivering just wouldnt go off! but out of that 9 sets, i think we only did about 6 lehh. dont feel like 9 ehh. but doesnt matter. cause if the sets continued, i bet i would have given up. luckily, i started my own exercises at home. if not i doubt i could have tahan the static hold.

we ended trg earlier cause we had to do smth. the smth was from our coach. no idea how to explain it. something like reflection? and had to fill in the injury form. and i realised im the only one with lots of problems huh? yeahh, i guess i was always the one. even when in pri sch it was like dat. but doesnt matter, cause most of it alr gone. and im glad(:

THE THINGS THAT I'LL BE TYPING AT THE BOTTOM IS NOT TO BE UNDERSTAND BY ANYONE EXCEPT FOR PPL WHO KNEW THAT MATTER. AND IT WOULD ONLY BE AT MOST 3 PPL.

hmm, i've no idea if that was indirectly telling me some things anot. but perhaps i shouldn't have done that? i didn know that it would let her feel as that? cause i really do that quite often. as in, i just wanted to know why. maybe u can think it that im over confident or something. but thats not really the case. i do admit that im confidence, but not over confident. cause i do think that this and studying is rather the same. cause whenever im over confident, nth good comes out of it. as long as i know i revised, ive tried, and the confidence comes and i'll do well. but i just wanted to know why i was seen as badly done. u get it? in a sense of an exam script. u'll get it back in the end and understand what mistakes u made and tell urself not to make the same mistakes. okk, except those major exams u dont get to get it back lahh. i see it the same as this. but all along, for what i've done, i know that the line is ALWAYS there. no matter how close i may seem to be with someone, the line is ALWAYS there. i may have smsed u often or maybe even once, its ALWAYS there. cause i believe in the same thing as u told us. without that line, i believe nobody would listen to u and that it WILL be difficult to make a decision. u asked us that question, and i asked myself, what do i know abt you? perhaps i do know u on the outside, as in what u portray urself. cause normally, someone's outside appearance is easy to understand. but i do know we can never judge someone by its cover. so i asked myself, what about in depth? as in character. and then i was rather stuck. cause for me, the first impression u gave me was, i thought i saw someone the same as me. but from what i see when i saw u out of trg time, u are really somehow same as me. and the voice i heard the first time, it really reminds me about someone. but the voice sounds the same doesnt mean that the character is the same. then i asked myself again, do i really know u? the voice from within answered me, no. guess i still need some time. then when u said u know more things about us without us knowing. then i asked myself, who actually know me without me knowing? the voice again tell me, no one. cause not even myself really understood myself. then i asked myself, what would u know from us? one way is very obvious, from the tchers. and what the tchers know, i more or less know also. and all these happened very often. backgrounds, maybe they would have know more than what i know. but one thing is, so what if u guys knew our background and what's happening to us in sch? so what if u guys talk to us about it? will we really tell u the truth? will ur really have the time to ponder over what we said and understand them bit by bit?my answer will be, i doubt so. then i asked again, who actually really know my background? only ppl whom im willing to tell and perhaps only ppl who are able to guess my thoughts and read within words and perhaps ppl who read my blog from the time when i have this blog. HAHAHHA. definitely, for this, theres not much of a need to understand ppl's FAMILY background. but perhaps their history for that will be needed. and only if u knew the person u're normally with is actually someone i know. kk, guess ive typed enough. its not that im trying to say different things from u. but that im trying to tell that i did ponder over the words u said. and kinda, from what u said, i really hope to achieve the fact that i can have the courage to say hello to them again. i doubt this goal is needed to be written down in the paper right? i can only say that short period of time is really not enough for me. but thats my ultimate goal. cause when i achieve what i wrote in that paper, this goal will ultimately be achieved. it kinda keeps me going(: if only u really read what ive typed.

HAHA. its long isnt it? actually, what i typed, if ppl really tried to read it, it can be understood without u being included in the 3ppl. i need to prove myself. i know i can do it and i need to work hard for it. i want to prove u wrong and gain the trust. perhaps u can say i did not trust u, but from the day u bcame my coach, i alr did. i dont doubt ur ability to select players or watsoever. the reason i asked is clear cut to me, cause i want to improve. cause from what i feel, i did not improve a single bit from my pri sch self. perhaps i did bcause its a diff lvl now. but from what i feel, i did not improve at all. and that is why i dont dare to say hello to them. i know its ridiculous, but i do have my own priciples. i even doubt myself that i may have alr reached what ppl said as cant improve anymore. sometimes i do also think that my potential is gone. or maybe even, i do not have potential at all.

kk, i think im done. HAHAHHA. if only things goes what i want them to go. but this's just how life is.