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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
SUCKS MAX.
Thursday, September 15, 2011 9:27 PM

i didnt wanna blog cause im still quite tired now. but i jsut cant seem to get it out of my head. this really sucks. im losing the determination/feel/urge/passion to play netball alr. this seriously sucks. everything sucks. i feel like being a weakling and cry now though. really. why must it always turn out this way? yeahh, i know i shouldnt be sucha selfish asshole to be asking u to play. but arghh, i really just cant believe it. even if u read this i really dont wanna care alr. i dont exactly beg ppl, or more like i never did it before. but i actually kinda really really ask u to play. i really did wanna tell u how i feel and whatever shit. dont feel bad or anything. im not trying to be an asshole now to talk abt u or whatever. i just really want u to play? arghh, i dont know how to express myself lahh.

 i meant i know how the team is like. i even know how the coach is like! but i really cant believe it. i honestly alr risk it. risk being benched again. and that sucks alot. i dont like to think abt the past but her presence always make me think abt it. if talk abt sian, u wont be as sian as me. i can still rmb how much i really hated her. but still, i told myself to go on. but still i asked myself to hang in there. now im playing cause i still wanna improve on my play(although i dont like her style of playing) but i do admit some stuffs im still lacking. like the driving forward ones. and i can put what mshuang thought during club trg in sch trgs. it gives me more chance to practice. and i do see myself improving(although not when im really tired). and i can continue working on my stamina. and that the others are still playing.

i did thought i could have a chance to play with u. perhaps not that much of a fate huh? i thought that urge to win could come back, but perhaps not that much. its alr like ur last time, i really dont see how much sian-ness u need to tahan from puva. i still have to tahan for another 2years. i really really understand how 21s and other netball and ur other committments meant to u. but somehow, yeahh, maybe im just really selfish this time, i just cant help it but feel really irritated by it. if im u, i would also put those first as priority but i'll really still play polite for those still in the team. i know its gona be really tiring, but this is life right? perhaps the team arent that important, the ppl in it arent that important to u either. cause i know that feeling of wanting to work hard for the team, for the coach. though now really not at all for the coach.

i really dont wanna be talking abt this. it just make me feel demoralised and everything. i want to be weak too, but i know i cant. i want to cry to but i know i cant either. i dont mind if u really read this. in fact, i do hope u read this. maybe u might think im such a selfish person or whatever bad stuffs. i dont care. what i know i am is enough. perhaps i dont know u well enough to know that u just quit because of such stuffs. but really really, i hope u'll at least play polite. its really the least that i'll ask for.

arghh, whatever shit. get real u stupid woman. who are u to ask her to play? fuck it.
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