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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
Not knowing.
Sunday, October 23, 2011 2:12 AM

somehow, i really have alot to ask. but i just dont have anyone to ask. or that i have no idea how to start asking. or maybe even if i did ask, do i trust what they say? i guess thats the problem with me? somehow somewhat, when i talk to some ppl, im always reading between lines. i guess its the wall thats affecting me.... if u know what wall im talking about. hahah

i guess its really hard for me to trust someone fully. i am really quite scared i would say. no guts? perhaps. maybe when i know u for 11years and still in contact, i would trust u fully. HAHAHA. and how many ppl will reach there, i dono. AHHAHA. but some, i realised, i kinda trust them somehow without even needing lots of time. that is really what i hate about myself also. just because they have the same passion/hobby doesnt mean they can understand everything. hmm, or maybe i just have problems arising only from my passion. yeahh, i guess so. HAHA. pathetic much. passion yet problematic.

yes, this happens when its late at night and everyone is asleep and theres nobody to talk to(: cause nobody or maybe seldom theres ppl reading this. so yeahh....

i guess its really quite easy to guess why im typing again. yeahh, just so many questions on the same topic. it sucks. cause if i cant get them answered, my mind just doesnt give up. yeahh, if only that happens when im studying huh. it does happen, but not for such a long period of time.

yeahh, who could be truthful to me, understands this game really well/have the experience, have the ability to tell me im wrong and convince me and someone i trust. how in the world am i gona find such a person? AHHAHA. fat hope man. in past, there may be. but now, if i cancel off some criteria, perhaps there may be ppl who fits the bill! hahaha. lets see. but seriously, being able to convince me is alr something not many ppl can do. k, whatever. wait till i have the mood and courage to ask i guess. HAHAH

but waiting for that courage meaning i would have cave in and just simply agree. which means im getting even weaker. which means i no longer persist in my own thinking that im right. which mean what she said is right. which is not right. ok, whatever. yes, she will never be right. oh whatever, the world is just unfair isnt it. i just hope ppl could stop being sucha biased asshole. its really something i hate the most in this whole world man. i swear i'll never be such a person. everyone should be given a fair chance. k, whatever, i think i just became one. fuck.
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