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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
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its over.
Sunday, January 22, 2012 2:18 AM

hopefully this will be a short post! hahaa. cause i wanna sleep badly. yepp, everything's over. and yepp again, i did give up. and again, i am a failure. cause i gave up. i couldnt even focus. all i thought of was i didnt want to play anymore. but yet when i watched the game, anger and urge to get on overwhelmed me. i guess thats just me. but yet i realised i only play well when i truely enjoy the game. ironically, i dont see how i can enjoy the game if im being coached by someone i dont like/biased thoughts against and always dwelling so much on what i did wrong on court. yes, i know mshuang told me off before. i can still rmb what she said. out of the 2 things, i only managed to correct one. and its still not fully. i guess shes the only one who could impact me that much. k, maybe not only one. puva did so too. but the bad way. really really bad way. but after thinking through, i know i wouldnt quit. i know i couldnt stop playing netball. be it competitively or not. yes, it is true that i really dono how much i can take under her alr. how much i can bear losing out to someone not as experienced/not as good as u. im really not trying to brag or what. but thats just truely how i feel. if u think im lousier, just tell me straight. i can take it. in fact, it'll make me wanna do better. i guess thats how mshuang coaches me. HAHAHA. but making me feel so damn angry and prove to her that im not playing dirty. i think i shouldnt see puva that importantly. cause if i dont, i wont get affected. i know what shes wants from me. but just somehow, i dont wanna give her. HAHAHA. i know as long as i enjoy the game, its enough. not many ppl love netball like how i do. i wont say i dont like winning. and i wont say im not competitive. but i would say, im starting to know ppl who love netball as much as i do. and i should just enjoy playing netball with them. and not think abt stupid stuffs. although it may not be loving it the same way as me, but as least i see the passion. i guess i have alot to work on. after every competition, i always realised that i have alot to learn. and also through all these competitions, i've learnt my lesson. but i guess im really stubborn. i know it myself that my stamina isnt enough, i still dont work as hard. AHHAHAH. ok, enough said. i just hope everything goes well. i really dont see how ppl could change that much. when shes not coaching, shes like so nice? maybe not so but at least nice? but yet when she starts coaching, i just wish i could ask her to shut up and stomp off. i hate it when i can sense that two-sided feeling in ppl. i mean like, how to say? k, i also dono how. why cant my coaches just be like mshuang? or mschoo? or msheng would also be good. out of all my pri sch coach, why must it be here again? making fun of me? or wanting me to work even harder? i guess its the latter right? and yes, come to think of it, ytd really felt as though im back to pri sch. where i could just talk to mschoo like that and she always dont have to worry about me not understanding(: it really felt great. i guess im the only one left calling her mschoo. HAHAHAH. yeah, for all of them, i should keep on going. i really dono how much more i could go, but i ought to continue for them. mshuang still looks at me like im her only player while shes talking. mschoo still wouldnt bother abt me cause she know i'll be fine. and apparently msheng still trust me cause she knows my cousin and im under mshuang? HAHAHA. funny but yeah, this is all how i feel i guess. for my coaches and my teammates, i really hope i could do better. wayyyyy better than this. i know im improving somehow, and yes, im quite glad. i guess i'll adopt the twins mindset! go sch trg for club trg! cause sch trg did help me in two things. first, stamina. second, being able to feed to tall shooters. HAHAHA. and its a good thing! like finally i guess? and lets see, which part of the two things did puva get involved with? NONE! feeding was like because of mel? cause at least i feel comfortable asking her if my feeding was ok. thats the most important communication between shooters and feeders. but apparently, in club, im not as daring. HAHA. so if i use the same way to feed to my club shooters, i guess it'll be fine? jsut a little adjustment here and there i guess. since someone say i can adapt easily-.- yeah, by being a reserve for ALL the positions during trgs and a reserve for ALL midfielder positions ehh-.- lame ass. ya, i should forget everything that got to do with her. man, our history sure go far. SO MUCH FOR HOPING FOR A SHORT POST. PUVA JUST REALLY GETS ON MY NERVE. AND SOMEHOW, WHY DO I HOPE SHE SEES THIS INSTEAD? HAHAHHA. THEN SHE'LL SHOW HER TRUE COLOURS MAN!! CANT IMAGINE ZZZZZ
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