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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
Not good.
Monday, August 27, 2012 1:57 AM

I realised im escaping again. I cant control my emotions whenever I watch some drama. This means im just trying to give myself an excuse to cry. Hate it whenever that happens. Cause its just bao feng yu qian xi.

Again, I wouldnt know when i'll breakdown again. Im escaping from the problem. But yet again, I just want to give myself more time to decide. I just need it to be even stronger. I dont want to regret. Nevertheless, it was smth that gave me life. All these years, it was that which gave me hope in life. Which gave me a goal. Im scared if I decide to erase that out of my life, I wouldnt be able to go on.

Im also scared the more I understand, the more I feel that its pointless.

I think im changing. I feel the change to. But I know its not the change I want. Wait, or maybe it was? Always wanted to change back to the old me. To the feeling-less and emotionless me, who only know how to flare up at ppl. Is that really what I wanted? I guess not.

K, im not very sure what im saying too. Hahaha. Just leave me alone. Or maybe cause I was at home for too long. HAHAHAH. Whatever lah.

Im gona go overseas in few weeks time anyway. Rural area. Hahaha. It'll be a good experience and a good time to sort thoughts out too I guess. I hope that could give me an even stronger will to continue things.

I no longer know who/what can give me the motivation to do anything alr. Not even the word disappointment seem to help. I really need to find myself back.
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