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“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs
“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” Winston Churchill
Not me...
Monday, June 17, 2013 5:06 AM

I just realised something (yeah, again). Im actually doing things that I dont like now. Having to lead, making decisions, talking in front of ppl, encouraging ppl, all of those captain qualities. I hate them all but yet im one now. Yes, I did know being captain isnt easy. But I guess I didnt expect it to be this hard. I mean, since im alr one, so all the more I have to do my best at it right! Yes, this is me. Being hard on myself all the time. But this is the only way I'll feel the achievement. Its not easy, but since when was life easy?

I havent been doing my part as a capt well. Not even as a player. I always ask myself why did ms huang do this. The only reason I have is that im the senior. Cause I joined earlier. Cause I have more experience. Nothing else. Nothing more. Disappointing yes, but its the only way I can get my mind of this. Im starting to doubt that I'll be bold enough to ask ms huang for the reasons. I really do wanna know. But I dont deserve it.

Now, all what I want is to play well and to lead the team well. Enough is enough. Enough of being all so weakling. Enough of giving up so easily. Enough of always telling urself u can do it, but ending up not. Stop looking down. Stop dwelling on things. Just move on and lead the team well. Its really the LAST thing I can do besides playing my best alr. Show her that u can. That she made the wrong decision. That she was right in the past. Confidence and quick-wit is what u need now.

On a side note, maybe I really did succeed somehow. Feels as though all my hardwork paid off. This is what I need. I dont need any fanciful achievement or anything. What I want is just assurance. I dont need a medal or a trophy for that. Just a word is enough. Winning is always the bonus. That was what I always worked hard for(:




Give me the strength to go on...
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